I'm writing this entry from the comfort of my home, even though I should be in school right now. This morning was one of the worst mornings of my life. Amber was being such a bitch to me, and I couldn't handle the stress. I rushed up to the bathroom and puked. Ew. And then my head hurt, and then I started crying because I was so afraid of my feelings, and I was so injured by Amber's recent actions. I called my mom from my cell phone while I stood in the bathroom and let out these awful hiccuping sobs. She told me she'd come to pick me up. So I had to endure the embarrassment of walking through the halls with my eyes red and puffy and tears streaming down my face. God. My mom was waiting for me in the attendant's office, concerned as usual.
So she drove me home and kept asking me motherly questions. Then she left me home alone because my grandpa's getting surgery today. So here I am, writing this pathetic journal entry and wondering what I've done. Why do I have to be so damn sensitive? Why can't I just suck it up and live my life? Why do I let her get to me? Why did I have to fall in love with her? I feel SO pathetic and ridiculous.
The good news? Ummm...well, I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow evening, which is something I always look forward to. We're gonna have A LOT to talk about. And I aced my pre-calculus quiz. And ummm...my cats are being awfully nice to me. I think they can read my emotions, because whenever I'm upset, they purr really loud and cuddle with me, as if they're trying to say everything will be okay. Awww, I love my cats. Just petting them and cuddling with them can be so therapeutic. One day I'll grow up to be the crazy old cat lady with 50 cats. I'll smell like cat piss and my eye will twitch and I'll live all alone drowning in a sea of furry cuteness.
That is all I have to say for now. Don't be surprised if I post 5 more journal entries today. I'm all alone right now and extremely insecure and afraid. It will pass, though. It has to. I can't let this destroy me.