I find myself once again bored and alone on a saturday night. Just like on Friday night yesterday. My life has seem to come to a total standstill. Nothing happens at all. Everything i like seems to be originated from somebody else. My friends seem to close themselves off at weekends so usually i end up having a shit weekend with no direction unless i go somewhere. On my own.
I used to love being on my own. And yes i still do now, but it comes to a point when loneliness invades and the streams of lousy tears take forth. I cant keep on going in this motion that does not never run.
every time i fucking try and make friends it never last or does not work or seems to just run out of battery. I wanna intoxicate myself to blur my memory from it but my self discipline intakes so this never leads. It seems that i am a good boy who has an emotional stand stop of a life.
My continued act of small friendship scares me a lot on what awaits my future. What if i don't ever meet anybody and i end up being alone in a big city i so crave for in my expanding world. I really don't no