I was born here, I shall die here, and I'll almost certainly never leave :P
Is it big enough? We'll find out.
I'm fucking depressing, aren't I? ;)
Ugh, Spring Break needs to end. I mean, high school sucks, as usual, but at least it sucks with friends. This sucks and I'm all alone.
Well, because ever since I got back Tuesday this has been, what, my 5th day here, hardly leaving. Although I guess I had a sleepover a few nights ago, I dunno how much that counts.
But, if you didn't gather from Shelby's journal, my friends all went bowling. And, for some reason, I dunno what, but KT said she sent 2 messages giving me details this week, and I don't have either of them.
Either she's a LYING SACK OF COCK or my phone's being stupid, as does happen sometimes. (jk, if you can't tell, she's amazing)
So last night sucked balls and ass, all at the same time. Worst night I've had since that one last month when I found out meeting Matthew wouldn't work out :P
I was just lying on my floor, having no clue what to do.
I could go to sleep, but I didn't want to. I was way too alert.
My computer had shut off due to time restrictions.
I could go downstairs and watch TV or do Assassin's Creed, but there was nothing interesting to do, and no one to assassinate that I hadn't already assassinated a thousand times.
And I could read a book, but nothing interested me.
I couldn't do the piano, because my family was asleep, of course.
Or I could continue to pace my room or lie on the floor, but I didn't like either of those...
So I got out my old planetarium things that shoots up constellations on my ceiling in the dark, and stared at that for a while... Before I watched Top Gear, and then I felt a little better from all their cool Britishness.
Still posting from my laptop because my computer's broken...
And today, I watched something I've been attempting to watch for a while. Does anyone remember when like a year ago in the articles Jeff said that Justin came out on the show Ugly Betty? You can find it on the second page of articles.
I remembered that a few weeks ago, started watching the series I never finished, didn't finish it again, re remembered it today, and watched all of it beginning to end.
And it is very cool, although I really wish I had a mom who would scream out with joy and hold a party if she found out I had a boyfriend.
I'd settle for the boyfriend, actually.
Anyway, it is very cute, and very cool. You may want to watch it.
Finally, GOOD NEWS:
I only have 1 more day cramped up in this house before I get back to boring, comfortable routine.
Next weekend I have my first swim meet in 6 weeks, which is very cool.
The weekend after that, I have another small meet, but I'm hoping it will be my best meet ever, for...certain reasons you may hear about afterwards.
I hopefully get to get back to my friends, because this as depressing as cock, being alone all day, no friends, nothing.
My bout of internalized homophobia is largely over, I don't know where it came from.
I hope that starting tomorrow
So basically, I'm happy. But sometimes I just think of things and how along and suffocated I feel, and I feel like GODAMN IT, LIFE, GO FUCK YO COUCH. WHY MUST YOU BONE ME THIS THOROUGHLY AND COMPLETELY. YOU'VE BEEN BONING ME FOR DAYS, CUT DOWN ON THE VIAGRA.
But I'm good :P
But enough about me, tell me, how are you queers doing?