So, my dad has let me borrow his laptop until mine is fixed because he hardly uses his, plus there's an old yet still usable desktop computer at his house anyway. I am really, REALLY enjoying his computer because it is about half as old as mine. Mine is really and truly fucked now. We tried everything, and we can't fix it, so tomorrow we're taking it to a store that fixes computers. (I don't have school tomorrow!) He said that if it costs a lot, he might just go ahead and get me a new one. The thing is 3 1/2 years old... Won't be long before I actually need a new one anyway. I'd LOVE to have a new one, but I know it's so not happening! My dad says that the only way I'll get a new one is if it costs over about $150 to fix the old one. I wouldn't mind keeping the old one if I could somehow magically get it to run like a newer one.
Dude, when they fix your computer, do they, like, snoop in your files and stuff? My laptop is THE most personal item I own, so I put all the important stuff on an external drive and deleted it off the laptop out of paranoia. I know they've more than likely seen far, far worse things than I would ever have on my computer since I'm not really into weird shit. I mean, it's not like there's tentacle Nazi scat porn on there or anything, it's just the principle of the thing. I have all my stories and digital art from 7th grade until now on there, stuff I've written about my feelings for just about every girl I've liked in the past 3 1/2 years, nerdy video game stuff, and unflattering pictures of me as an awkward, overweight 13-year-old with braces. There also may or may not have been a very small collection of slightly more, uh, suggestive (but not freaky) stuff gathered from the internet, but if this folder did, in fact, exist, it would have totally been the first thing I deleted, so no worries.
I mean, I'd think it would be illegal to look through people's crap just for the hell of it, and they aren't fixing any software issues, just replacing an actual physical part on the computer. And why would they feel the desire to look through some random 16-year-old girl's files anyway? But a little bit before I got my laptop, this unofficial computer repair guy (chemistry teacher's son) came over to fix my desktop computer and he did go through my files just for laughs, and I was so mad and so embarrassed. That's like, my personal shit, you know?
Is there anything that I can do to protect my crap, aside from deleting all personal stuff after putting it on the external drive (which I already did)? I can get on the laptop for about 10 minutes at a time before it shuts down.
In other news, my mom is being an asshole about clothes. Apparently, if you don't wear long pants in 90 degrees Fahrenheit weather like she does, then you are just a horrible, dirty whore. This was never an issue until last year, when I decided that I didn't want to dress like that anymore. When she gets all self-righteous on facebook about how tight clothes make Jesus cry, I just want to wash my face with a cheese grater. Ughhh. I mean, I agree that parents shouldn't buy booty shorts for their 6-year-olds, but use common sense. All the people who want to ban tight/short/revealing/whatever clothes for everyone just because pre-pubescent kiddies might want to wear them are simply crazy.
I know that entire rant was SOOO typical teenage girl. Hahaha, I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound like a bitch, I just really hate my mother's self-righteous rants about insignificant things. They're fucking CLOTHES. We were all born naked anyway. The way you dress doesn't determine your character. When I was a little kid, I dressed HORRIBLY. I wore ugly, ill-fitting t-shirts and sweatpants from Walmart by choice. (Hell if I can remember why, but I did from the time I was about 6 to the time I was about 8 or 9!) My mom never stopped me. I didn't become some slobby, nasty person. And now I like to dress a lot nicer. After all, no one will be young and attractive forever, so why not enjoy it while it lasts? I don't instantly transform into a ravenous slut if I dare to... gasp... put on a skirt that comes above my knees. (Even if I did magically transform into a ravenous slut, I'd be a ravenous lesbian slut, so no unwanted babies, and I think we have a pretty low STD rate as well. :D)
Anyway, today, there was NO CHEMISTRY CLASS! YEAHHH! I spent two hours dreading chemistry today, and then there was no chemistry! Today was also good because there was a bake sale at school that sold AWESOME shit. And FCG was working at it, so I bought stuff from her, but her awkward friend kept trying to make me buy stuff from her (the awkward friend, not FCG) instead.
IG made me rage, though. I hate it when she steals FCG's attention! I don't have time for that shit anymore. But then FCG randomly started talking about how last year she used to want to totally bitch out IG for being mean to me. Awww. :') She's mentioned this before, but it always makes me feel good when she says it.
I only get to see FCG 6 more times. Today, FCG asked us all if we'd miss touching her hair when she's gone away. She is so excited about leaving, though. I don't even want to begin to think about it. I know I keep talking about this over and over and over, but I have honestly never been so scared in my life. Today, I just felt anxious and afraid out of nowhere while she was talking to IG. I don't even know why.
Everything about her just takes my breath away. Her soft blonde hair, her unique laugh, the way she can make a bad day a little better just by smiling at me... I've got it so bad for her. She is amazing. More amazing than all the other girls so far. And because of that, I think I'm willing to finally put aside my lameness this time and make sure she doesn't completely disappear from my life. I don't know how exactly I am going to go about doing that, but it's time for an honest effort.