Rape me now

swimmerguy's picture

With a 6 foot black steel cube, covered in lemon juice and rock salt, lubricated with gravel and barbed wire.

I started Driver's Ed today. And it was 2 hours long. And I have 14 MORE OF THESE.
And it SUCKED COCK-N-BALLS. So hard.
And then I have 6 more 2 hour drives.
And then I have to log a total of 60 hours with my parents or another adult :P

I mean, I'm glad they don't want you to die, but this seems just a weensy bit copious.
So yeah, this sucks. But I have to do it, if I want a license before I'm 18, which as far as I'm concerned will be heaven on Earth.
Because, now my brother takes me to school. Which is nice.
But, he's graduating this year.
So, next year, I'll have to take the bus for most of the year. Which means waiting out in the frickin cold for who knows how long in the dark, waiting to go to a place I hate, where then I have to sit for 20 minutes before it even starts.
And, my birthday is sadly March 25, which puts it so I have to do this the ENTIRE WINTER. 4 days after spring starts, I get to drive then! But by then the damage is already done, I'll be damaged and resentful and I'll never be able to be my happy self again :P

And I'll be able to drive myself to swim meets, which will be cool.
I'll be able to be a real loner :)

But I was so thrilled to learn that in my drivers ed class there is a really hot, really cool guy from my soccer team, which is not only good eye candy, anything to distract me from listening to being talked at for 2 hours, but I'm also glad the class isn't filled with people I hate.
Which is what I was afraid of.
That's good.

You know, this really wouldn't be so bad, if I didn't have swimming. If I did nothing after school, I'd be bored anyway.
But now I have to completely skip 2-3 days of swimming a week, so I can go listen to a guy talk about driving for 2 hours.
I CAN'T IMAGINE ANYTHING WORSE.

The only thing that doesn't make me go insane with the thought of all the training I'm missing is that this part of the 11-and-a-half month swim season is where training starts to mellow and taper off.
If I was missing late Fall- Winter, I'd literally have to rape someone, or murder someone, or just do both in one foul swoop.
It'd be unavoidable. There's no alternative.

But, anyway, how are you doing?

Comments

Super Duck's picture

Where I live, driver's ed

Where I live, driver's ed isn't even mandatory. Not even kidding. All you have to do is study the book they give you and take the test that gives you a permit, which you are eligible for simply by being 15. No special requirements. When you get the permit, you can only drive if an adult licensed driver is in the car with you for a year. Then, after having the permit for a year, you take the road test to get your intermediate, which is what I have right now. That allows you to drive by yourself/with people/whatever as long as it isn't between like, 10 or 11 p.m. and 6 a.m. Forgot the exact hours. Then, after 6 months of that, you can do whatever you want, whenever you want.

If I had to do all that driver's ed, I'd... dafsjldsjalf I don't even know. :P

Dracofangxxx's picture

I am doing amazing :)

I am knitting my metrosexual boyfriend a scarf and deciding which colour to paint his toenails next :P <3

Heehee <3

How come driver's ed was hard? I love driving :D My dad lets me drive whenever I go camping, and he made me go on the road and it was crazy XD
-
Amazingly offensive <3

inso_manic's picture

My driver's ed teacher was an ass

glad that class is over. I'll be getting my license in June :D

elph's picture

I had to smile...

...at your quite creative wordplay: fell > foul :)

Anyway... I hope that you don't really associate the exhilaration of an incredible orgasm (private or otherwise) with rape! I can't see this being you...

Don't tell me I've misinterpreted your true nature...

You'll weather the ordeals of becoming licensed. But, I do feel bad about your being obliged to miss some swim practices. But 60 hours... enough time to drive coast to coast!

btw... doesn't anyone walk to school any longer... or, at least, bicycle (and... don't you have a motor scooter?)?

fwiw: my daily commute to gs/hs was typically ~5 miles... mostly on foot! (But that was before the Rennaisance --- or so it now seems.)

Ambition15's picture

Ughh

Yeah I was going to do drivers Ed this month but then decided to move it to September, because it just sound awful. Plus I'm sorta, kinda scared to drive...

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they attack you, then you win." -M. Gandhi

hellonwheels's picture

I am sick, so

I have been better. I remember driver's ed fondly, and the eye candy that was in my classes as well....and ugh, the scan tron tests....fml...lol

but it was seriously worth it chad, and will be for you too. kids that don't go through it, and wait til they are 18 are often far worse drivers, and they end out getting in accidents. and even though it will distract you a bit from your swimming....who knows, maybe hot guy from soccer will want to hang out w/ you? :)

good luck on your driving tests man, remember to check you blindspots, hands @ 10 and 2, or these days 11 and 1, and always, always check your mirrors. haha.

Like I said man, it makes you a better driver if you go.

good luck...and hopefully you get a nice car, or are able to save up some $$$ so you don't have to take the....bus....

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

elph's picture

What I have to keep reminding myself...

...every time I start to drive: never ever change lanes before being absolutely certain the other lane is clear!

There are many other driving habits that one should develop... but I feel this is right at the top of the list!