To clarify... (To whom it may concern)

Ask Tell Deceive's picture

I have good reasons for wanting to die. And few not to. This is a chart to explain the feelings that I have, and that I believe shows that my desires are not weak, cowardly, or stupid. They are well thought-out and weighed carefully.

Reasons to die:
1.) Reunite with deceased family and lover.
2.) Become closer to YHWH.
3.) End the pain of unwanted, hellish memories.
4.) End my addiction to drugs.
5.) Free myself from a body that I do not belong in.

Reasons not to die:
1.) It would make about three people upset.
2.) I might be in love with someone.

I think that clarifies things. Thank you.

Comments

radiosilence95's picture

There is no justification

There is no justification for wanting to die. It doesn't matter if your list of reasons to die is twenty pages long. The reasons to live, regardless of how few you think there is, will ALWAYS overpower the reasons to end your life, even if you can't see it.

I'm sure there's more than two reasons to keep living. You just don't realize that they're there. Fight. Don't you understand that life can change, that it won't always be as bad as it is right now? Think of the possibilities for your future. Don't dwell on how bad your present is.

Life has its struggles. Endure them, overcome them, and the reward will be worth the pain. By ending your life, you surrender. That makes you weak. Facing life is more courageous than ending it.

lonewolf678's picture

If Ask really did try it,

then Ask had reasons. However I'm not saying that was the best course of action. You realize that by saying any person is "weak" to want to end their life would only encourage them yes? Just makes the person more moody and depressed (at least in my experience).

loreonpravus's picture

Suicide is a touchy subject.

Suicide is a touchy subject. I very slightly disagree with radiosilence about no justification- I think terminally ill people should be allowed to end their lives if they are in massive pain- but she's right about the reasons to live.

I can't exactly understand what your problems are, because every person has their own unique life to live, but I have lived through a suicidal time, survived... and really, I'm glad. My problems haven't gone away; they've only been temporarily staved off, but I don't want to die anymore. The future is so uncertain but the thing about hope... it's hard to completely squash out.

Also, all of Oasis would probably be quite upset. Just pointing that out. Not all of us know everybody else as well as we do certain people, but we stick together.

625539's picture

wait until you know if it is

wait until you know if it is love, at the very least, it could be something fulfilling. what does another few moments of humanity change in the nothing that awaits?

lonewolf678's picture

Reasons for you to live:

1.) You know they're in a better place and they'd want you to live.
2.) You can always be close to YHWH in your heart and spirit.
3.) The pain and hellish memories need to be confronted so that you may move past them. It is possible!
4.) The addiction can be put in the past, but you need to ask for help. It seems difficult but think of the new life in YHWH you will lead.
5.) This I wish I could answer you. But maybe someone else here can.

There are more than two reasons holding you to the Earth I'm sure. I hope these words carry meaning for you.

Ask Tell Deceive's picture

Thank you

You have been amazingly helpful, and I'm glad for your support...

While this doesn't change my heart completely, it does give me a slight bit of hope. I don't think of things that way anymore, and it's... refreshing to hear positivity. The things you've said to me are very meaningful and clear, meaning and clarity being things I haven't had in a long time. Thank you again.

lonewolf678's picture

Anything to help,

I'm glad to help. :)

Dracofangxxx's picture

You mistake me

You have the right to kill yourself, and if you're trying to get acceptance from me... Well you're going to be DEAD. I don't care what reasons you have, they're all stupid and cowardly. Every person has problems. Everyone. I wanted to kill myself before and then I grew some balls and dealt with them instead of pussywhining about how bad my life is.

Seriously... if you really care about how people think about your suicide, you're not suicidal. You're attention whore suicidal. EDIT: let me explain this part. You need to live for YOURSELF. Not for others. Don't kill yourself just because you want people to feel bad and miss you. You live your life for yourself because it is YOUR life.

Also...
You have one life. If you really believe in afterlife, you'll get there eventually and be there forever. Why not just stick around for your whole life so that you can just enjoy it?
It's like childhood. You spend all your time wanting to be an adult and when you get there, you want to go back.
(And you're being childish about this, too).
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Amazingly offensive <3

Ask Tell Deceive's picture

1.) I wasn't referring in

1.) I wasn't referring in this to you. I was actually aiming it toward the more reasonable Radiosilence.

2.) At the moment, I can't kill myself. I'm in the hospital. I assure you, when I next get the chance it is almost certain that I will as soon as possible, REGARDLESS of what people say to me. I appreciate the kindness of others, but that doesn't stop my wanting to die. Neither does this self-righteousness on your part.

3.) There's nothing enjoyable about this life anyway.

Frankly, nothing you will say or do can ever convince me otherwise. Any respect I once had for you as a person is gone, because you seem to believe that you are right and could never possibly be wrong. That attitude is ridiculous and- dare I say it- very, very childish.

I fail to see my childishnesses. I think I'm being awfully reasonable.

Dracofangxxx's picture

Reasonable?

We had the same point. I just have a harsher tone.
And actually, considering you used "Weak, cowardly, and stupid" quite verbatim from my comment...
Yeah, this is partially aimed at me.

That's also my point. I'm not being kind because I know you don't care. You're being an idiot, and if you die, do you know what you'll do to people?
Fuck, they'll think, "oh my gosh, what have I done wrong? Why couldn't I have prevented this?"
and spend
THEIR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE
depressed about a stupid choice that YOU MADE.

Like, I mean, I don't care if you're all "La-la-la death is happy and yay for me, afterlife and all that bullshit" but you're not even THINKING about how you're going to affect the people that know you.

And yes, there are enjoyable things. How can you even say that? Of course you won't see them if you spend your life puttering about and thinking about how much you want to die! Stupid! You claim to be a genius but you're stupid enough to throw your own life away! I'm not right persay, but at least I value your life more than you do! You're not even TRYING to see the good parts, you're just moping about and waiting to go whack yourself off (Not in the masturbatory way) as soon as you can.
Sad. That's real sad.

Point is, I am not a quitter. I don't look kindly upon quitters. There's a nice little quote that swimmerguy gave to me when I thought I was suicidal...

"If you are going through Hell, keep going". Winston Churchill.

What I'm TRYING to get into your thick little skull is that RIGHT NOW, you are living your life. Right now, things are bad. But you have NO WAY of knowing that maybe in a week, or a month, things could be amazing. In a year, you could be the happiest you've ever been. You don't even want to try! IT GETS BETTER UNLESS YOU STOP YOURSELF.
Really! Not being cheesy or anything! Things get better if you allow yourself to make them better!

But you know, why do I try? Why am I sitting here when I'm trying to SAVE YOUR FUCKING LIFE and all you want to do is insult me for trying an approach that obviously nobody tried!
Once, someone told me that if I committed suicide, that they wouldn't come to my funeral because I'd have been taking the easy way out.

Everytime I ever thought of killing myself, that stopped me.
So, just because I'm pushy and arrogant and bitchy, IT COULD be the one thing that MIGHT have saved your life. I'm willing to take that risk. And hey! Everyone wouldn't think so low of me anymore.

But this isn't about me, this is about you, and how you're mentally sick right now. I can't run in and take away every dangerous weapon in your immediate area, but I CAN throw things at you that should make you think.

By the way, afterlife? How do you even know? There are HUNDREDS, maybe even THOUSANDS of religions. How do you know yours is right? How do you know ANY are right? You just have belief of something there's no proof for. I respect religious people highly when they're not LEAPING to go to "Heaven" or whatever it is you'll go to. Save that for when it's time comes on it's own!

But hey, look at me, trying to fight for YOUR life. Why do I try? Everyone who thinks I'm being mean? What are you doing to try and save this person?
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Amazingly offensive <3

lonewolf678's picture

Wow,

"mentally sick", that's really comforting to Ask I bet. You just don't know how to solve a problem. I can't solve it either and so I'm being rational rather than getting upset and angry because I can't control something.

Dracofangxxx's picture

Erm, well... Hate to burst your bubble...

But being suicidal is considered having a mental illness as well as being depressed, which I'm sure Ask is both of.

It's not meant to hurt, it's just true. When you're sick, you need help. Feeling like you're upset all the time and wanting to die IS being sick.
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Amazingly offensive <3

Ask Tell Deceive's picture

Finish

You win. I just have one thing to say:

About the afterlife, how do you know I'm wrong?

Dracofangxxx's picture

Well, no! I don't think you're wrong!

I'm saying there's no way to know until you DO die. So why rush into it?
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Amazingly offensive <3