Well since my mood and will are kinda in the toilet, I obviously don't even have the will to do homework or go to bed, considering I have a major English project already 2 days late that I still haven't done. Fail. And it's 10:40, so it's not getting done tonight. Maybe my current homework can be saved, we'll see if I can handle it, but I can't at least for a few more minutes of procrastination.
So, since my will is in the crapper, let's talk about death.
Not the concept in general, but specifically about your death. Aren't I a great person?
Yes, I am.
So, a few questions about it. How old would you like to be? What would you like the circumstances to be in your death? And finally, what would you like done with your corpse?
First, I'd like to die at a good age. I think I'd like to die at a point in my prime, as I start to age.
It really depends on what I do with my life.
If I was a world reknowned physicist, I might be able to do that for many, many years, and continue to make discoveries.
But if I was a mountain climber or something, I'd no longer be able to do that in old age.
As was said in the poem "To an Athlete Dying Young": Now you will never know the rout/ of lads who wore their honor out
Meaning that by the time I pass my "prime" in whatever I do, for example maybe age 45 if I was a professional mountain climber, I'd like to die then. So that I wouldn't become some 90-year old vegetable that no one remembered when I died.
I will eventually be forgotten whatever I do, but I would rather not it be during my lifetime.
Next, how would I like to die?
Well, I've always thought I'd like to die during the day, not at night.
Probably during the rain. Doing what I love.
Whatever that is. Maybe I'm climbing a mountain or something.
Or, barring that, in a car crash.
But where I'm a pedestrian, not a driver. I think it'd be very out there to get hit by a car.
And I know the last thing I'd like to see is the sky. Not any people, just for maybe a minute just the sky and naught else.
Finally, how would I like to be done away with?
Well, I've never really liked the idea of a funeral for me, but you know, funerals really aren't for the dead, nothing matters to them anymore, they're for the ones the dead leave behind.
So maybe I'd have a funeral. BUT NO WAY AM I GOING TO BE BURIED IN A CEMETARY OR A CREMATORIUM.
That's so fucking depressing and sterile I can't stand it.
I'd like to be taken into the woods, and left there, either in the open or with a thin layer of Earth on top. No coffin.
Or maybe just dying in the woods would be easier.
But it just seems such a waste to me to have all our bodies, the human race, we take a lot from the Earth in order to feed our bodies, just by living we pollute the Earth, it's just the way we live.
And that's okay,
But then we take the wonderful and marvelous products of all that destruction, the human body, and we just leave it in a dark box, sometimes in a sealed vault, where we will never be used again, it's such a fucking waste.
You know, maybe, when I get older, I should just go into the woods in some obscure place and like inject myself with morphine until I die, just staring up at the sky.
And then maybe my body will come of some use to something, an animal perhaps.
It doesn't matter to me, I'm already dead.