Could really use advice! (new to this). Please!

Blade87's picture

Ok, so I'm a closeted gay man (also feels wierd typing since I've never really admitted it until recently). I'm a senior in highschool & I really like this kid in my class. Now here's the thing, I just want to be friends with him. I don't want a relationship with him, I just enjoy having him there. However, our friendship is wierd. It most consists of me giving him hw or money (I gave him this before I thought I was gay, & before I liked him). He's a skater kind of kid, but not a punk skater, also muscular & jock like. He's very touchy and is always giving me hugs because I'm so nice to him (but he's touchy-feely to everyone!. He always asks me if I'm gay (but not seriously, always jokingly) & I just respond non-chalantly (& sounding slightly annoyed) only gay for you (cheesy, I know). Graduation is coming up, & we have no more classes, so I'm only going to see him at prom & graduation when there's alot of kids around, a place where I wouldn't want to tell him. Should I tell him through facebook chat (& if I did, before or after graduation?). I want to tell him because I think he knows I'm gay, for one. But mainly because I'm hoping if I tell him this it will strengthen our friendship (or it could ruin it?) & we will continue to talk when we go our separate ways.

Also, if he happens to be gay hopefully he would confide in me? I think he might be gay because my gay bestfriend got a message from him asking for a blowjob, then they guy said it was fake & not from him. This kid & I are 'semi-friends' as we never talk/hang out outside of school. Should I take my chances & tell him? He's always asking me if I am, so I was hoping he'd ask me again & instead of saying something stupid I could seriously say yes, but I'm afraid I won't have that chance anymore. What should I do?

ferrets's picture

welll

for one, we need to know how your school/are feels about gay people.

he does sound like hes at least kinda into guys tho, i find that most of that joking sort of thing has at least a bit of seriousness at its root.

"A loving man and woman in a committed relationship can marry. Dogs, no matter what their relationship, are not allowed to marry. How should society treat gays and lesbians in committed relationships? As dogs or as humans?"

Blade87's picture

Well there's quite a few

Well there's quite a few openly gay people that no one seems to bother (I mean obviously they get joked around with, but it's all harmless & the gay students just joke back & laugh with them -- it is an all boys school). But I don't want to tell everyone, just him! & that my gay friend also said that this kid told him he watches gay porn (don't know if he was joking with him or not though, he might be). But I don't care if he's gay or not, I just want him as a friend & I feel if I tell him it would strengthen the friendship (or it could ruin it??).

ferrets's picture

see

if hes really worth having as a friend, he wont care about your orientation

"A loving man and woman in a committed relationship can marry. Dogs, no matter what their relationship, are not allowed to marry. How should society treat gays and lesbians in committed relationships? As dogs or as humans?"

Blade87's picture

Dude that one line speaks so

Dude that one line speaks so much, thanks!

ferrets's picture

heh

thank jeff(site admin), hes the one who says it all the time :)

"A loving man and woman in a committed relationship can marry. Dogs, no matter what their relationship, are not allowed to marry. How should society treat gays and lesbians in committed relationships? As dogs or as humans?"

Blade87's picture

Haha thanks Jeff! But do you

Haha thanks Jeff!

But do you think telling him over fb would be bad? (private chat, I mean).

ferrets's picture

naw...

i think in person is the best. but thats just me personnaly.

if i were you, i would just weave it into the conversation, kinda dont just be like "fyi, im gay!" just dont make a big deal, and he shouldnt either.

"A loving man and woman in a committed relationship can marry. Dogs, no matter what their relationship, are not allowed to marry. How should society treat gays and lesbians in committed relationships? As dogs or as humans?"

Blade87's picture

That's what I'd like to do,

That's what I'd like to do, but I don't know if I'll have that opportunity, since I'll probably only see him at prom or graduation. He's always asking me if I'm gay, jokingly of course, but I think he suspects it. The other day he said (as he was walking behind me with a friend (I didn't know he was there)) "you know who's really gay, (insert my name). & I just joke back, but I regret not saying it straight up. & I doubt I'll have the opportunity so I may have to tell him online.

ferrets's picture

well

if you dont get another chance otherwise, you might as well do it online

"A loving man and woman in a committed relationship can marry. Dogs, no matter what their relationship, are not allowed to marry. How should society treat gays and lesbians in committed relationships? As dogs or as humans?"

oldfoxbob's picture

Your heart will tell

You say he always jokes about or tells others about being gay but then says "just kidding" etc. Sounds like he is dropping hints left and right according to what you say. Since Graduation is coming up fast, and you have little time left in school, what do you have to loose if you come out to him? If he is a true friend it wont make any diff to him if he is not gay, if he is, well.....wrap that wascal.
If he blabs it all over school, you will only loose one or two friends, but may gain ten or more. A few bullys will call you "Fag" and yeah maybe you will get hit, but HIT BACK! You can come out to him on FB or Twit, but that is sorta impersonal, don't you think? Would you like to be told about someone you care about that they are gay on FB? Not really, cause a good friend will do it face to face.
So my advise is do it face to face, at a time when its just the two of you together some place, and when he jokes about something being "gay" or the like, tell him that you are gay, and are tired of hiding it from good friends like him. That being said he will let you know how he really stands with you. We all will hope for the best for you and your wishes.
So Good luck and Be happy regardless of the out come.. Oh and let us all know how it goes please, Thanks and again good luck.
OFB

Genius is not a sign of intelligence, but rather
that of common sense. Humor is the best pain pill.

Blade87's picture

Haha thanks everyone! & I

Haha thanks everyone! & I posted a video of a crush of mine on fb, to which he commented, to which I told him through fb chat. & he didn't care at all. I saw him the next day, to which he made a quick word reassuring me it was fine, & that was it! If I had known I'd see him face to face alone, I wouldve told him then, but I didn't think it would happen, so I told him through fb. He hasn't joked around about it with me though, I guess as to not insult me. But I still talk to him as much & we're just as good (if not better) friends then we were.

Blade87's picture

Haha thanks everyone! & I

Haha thanks everyone! & I posted a video of a "crush" ( a hot chick I established as a crush anyway LOL) of mine on fb, to which he commented, to which I told him through fb chat. & he didn't care at all. I saw him the next day, to which he made a quick word reassuring me it was fine, & that was it! If I had known I'd see him face to face alone, I wouldve told him then, but I didn't think it would happen, so I told him through fb. He hasn't joked around about it with me though, I guess as to not insult me. But I still talk to him as much & we're just as good (if not better) friends then we were.