From a Goldfish Farm in China

MacAvity's picture


I'm not entirely sure why, but I've abstained from posting anything for two weeks. Read everything, though... Glad to have missed the drama. There have been things I've wanted to say; I don't know why I didn't just say them. Ah well. I'm back now. I'll start commenting again and everything.

I don't have much in particular to say... I guess I'll just write about whatever I've been thinking or doing these past two weeks.

These two weeks were my school's spring break. The first week, my dad and my brother and I went to San Francisco and did general touristy things. Museums, cable cars, Alcatraz, et cetera et cetera. We'd all been to San Francisco before, but not for several years, and we did different things this time. Plus, we stayed in a motel with waffles for breakfast. And that's fantastic. Lobbies and fancy wallpaper and all that nonsense are horribly overrated - all they do is make the lodging more expensive. So long as a place has clean beds, hot showers, and flush toilets, it's perfectly adequate. Continental breakfast included is good. Waffles makes it fantastic.

I've been using that word recently, 'fantastic.' Deliberately, actually. All for the purposes of charming the Doctor Stalkers. I'm not sure why I am so keen on charming them - vanity, I suppose. I've been noticeably vain of late - at least, noticeably to myself. I'm sure everyone else thinks I'm thinking mysterious inscrutable intellectual thoughts when I'm really thinking (again) about my hair. Heheheh.

My hair is nice, though. It's very soft, and at a nice length. I touch it all the time. Regi touches it too, whenever she gets a chance. Yesterday she took my whole head under her arm and ran both her hands through my hair for a long time - it felt good - and hastily pretended not to have been doing anything of the sort whenever her other friends said (untruthfully) that her boyfriend was coming. 'Course, when her boyfriend finally did get there, she sat in his lap and purred and temporarily forgot all about my hair. But before he came, she told the whole group that my hair was far more touchable than his. Heheheh. Also, she has apparently not forgotten her evil Doctor-Stalker plan to Doctor my hair and then Stalk it.

Anyway... San Francisco? Eh... not terribly much to report - it's been two weeks since I was there, so I'm not excited enough to go into detail. And... the next week we just nerded out at my dad's house. My brother had something baseball-related going on, so I had the house to myself a lot. The time was passed primarily in sleeping and Doctor Stalking - because Regi and Leaena, the main Doctor Stalkers of my acquaintance, have ordered me to become a Doctor Stalker as well, so I can understand what they're always talking about. And yeah, I'm starting to like it, but I'll still insist that I only do it because of those two. I'm a reluctant Doctor Stalker.

And... this most recent weekend, my whole family went to Mount San Jacinto for the sake of doing a bit of training in high altitude for our planned Kilimanjaro attempt in June. So we took the aerial tramway most of the way up San Jacinto, then tried to hike to the summit but ended up not making it, mostly because Mr Fusion (my brother - I don't know why he gets such a silly codename with a Mr in it when I could just as easily call him Jason) was a whiner, and the trail was bad. 'Bad' as in kind of lost in the snow. So we went back to camp and camped in the snow. Miserable cold, that. Barely tolerable. Not as bad as you might imagine, though. More like the laughable kind of misery. Like, 'Hahaha, this is so cold and miserable, why (hahaha) did we do this?'

And... I don't feel like writing any more about my spring break.

So... Random thoughts and random things. I've been having a lot of them recently... let me try to remember...

Prom! It's surprisingly difficult, as I discovered yesterday, to find a shirt with ruffles on the front that actually has important things like sleeves and a decent neckline. Used to be that all tuxedo shirts were like that; now they just have - what? ribbing? - something that isn't ruffles. But girl shirts still have ruffles, but they don't have anything else. Found one eventually, though. The sleeves are at some stupid length - really, why can't girls just wear long sleeves like everyone else? - but their three-quarter-lenghth-ness will give me an excuse to wear long black gloves, which is a very good thing. I also got pants, which are not inconvenient in any way. I also have my cape. It's not quite as fantastic as I had hoped, but it's good. It came from the internet because that was less expensive than making one myself. I still need shoes (guy shoes - I hate wearing lady shoes more than I hate wearing skirts - actually, I don't hate wearing skirts, really - but less than I hate leaving my shoulders bare) and a vest. I'll probably get both of those things tomorrow; there's no time today.

I'm very excited for prom. It's a masquerade, and I've been waiting for four years for this opportunity to wear my beautiful Venetian mask that I got in Venice four years ago. Also, I'm going to go as both genders when I'm usually neither. I'll be unrecognisable. We're going to temporarily color my hair black, maybe with silver streaks, and gel it into some spiky shape. I'll have my very female mask, and some degree of female makeup, but I'll also draw on a nice pair of sideburns. The cape doesn't really belong to any gender, but my shirt is female-but-styled-after-male-fashions and my vest may be that also but will more likely be male. And I'll stuff a bra to give myself boobs - that's important, having sideburns and boobs, the secondary characteristics of both sexes when usually I have neither. And my pants are guy pants and I'll be packing a wad of cloth as I always am, and I'll have guy shoes. I will be fantastically bigendered and I'll definitely post a photograph for you all when it all happens. And I'm excited.

Er.... what else?
Well, I've got two Advanced Placement Tests tomorrow - English and Latin. Bit cruel of them to schedule those two for the same day when everyone who's taking the Latin test is also taking the English test. Ah well. I don't think I'll do any particular studying; it won't help.

I've figured out what my final project for my English class will be, though I'm not sure it quite meets the criterion of 'Prove that you've learned something about English Literature and Composition.' I've got a ceramic model of a human skull that I made in Ceramics class last trimester - it's not very anatomically correct, but it's okay - and I'm going to rip up my Hamlet book and coat the skull with the lines and call it Yorick. I started ripping up the book today, but I need to get some sort of glue or starch to make the pieces stick to the ceramic and to each other. I was impressed with myself for having been able to rip up a book despite a lifetime of conditioning to not hurt books - I have two Shakespeare anthologies containing Hamlet and I really didn't need this extra paperback, plus, I reminded myself, I have no problem cutting up dead animals and turning them into art, so I shouldn't object to doing the same to this book, which, like the animals, isn't alive. So I ripped up the book. I'm proud of myself.

Anyway, this Yorick thing is, I think, the most original thing I can do for this project, even if it doesn't show that I've learned anything about English Literature or Composition. Other people have done and will do and are doing writing projects, and they're more inspired writers than I am. This at least can go with the giant Arm of Grendel in the classroom.

I am starting to understand what is meant by 'senioritis,' though. I haven't skipped class yet and probably never will, but I am becoming very lax when it comes to homework. And pretty bad about paying attention in class, too.

My obscenely ancient grandmother Oma is back to living with us. She can't even stand up without a lot of help anymore - we finally got a wheelchair for her today. She is a difficult oldster - rude and demanding as well as exceedingly feeble and half deaf. So there's a lot of stress in this household from that.

Er... Well, there's been a sort of lacking feeling with me, I guess... It's not very strong, and I can't really describe it... Maybe it's just that I miss being someone's very best friend. I haven't had that sort of relationship with anyone for almost a year. Regi and Leaena are very best friends; I'm secondary or maybe even tertiary. Jude has a very best friend whom I don't really know but who isn't me. Here I can see that my best Oasis friends are closer to each other than to me, too. Not that I blame anybody. I just miss having somebody who held me as absolute favorite. And I don't think I can hold anybody as my own absolute favorite until it seems that that favorite-hood will be mutual.

Speaking of Oasis friends - I miss Flyby. Gaj has disappeared again, and the last time gaj appeared, gaj was gone before I had even seen that gaj was here, and I couldn't assure gaj that I have not, in fact, moved to a goldfish farm in China. Flyby, if you ever read this, know that I'd be sure it was in a part of China that got internet, so we could stay in contact.

Anyway, today is 'Star Wars Day,' so:
May the Fourth be with you!


Ambition15's picture

Glad to have you back!

Man you've had some busy thoughts floating around. I bet it feels good to just talk, question what is a doctor stalker? Do I want to know?

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they attack you, then you win." -M. Gandhi

radiosilence95's picture

Welcome back, dude.

:o Our school prom had a masquerade theme too! But I'm a sophomore, so I didn't go.

Oma is german for grandma. Is your Oma german? :P

I know the feeling. I don't think I'm anybody's absolute favorite when it comes to my circle of friends. But I'm not too bothered by it. People still love me.

lonewolf678's picture

Welcome back,

I haven't seen you in awhile, I'm glad to hear you're well off enough.

MacAvity's picture


Lonewolf: Aw, thank you!

Radiosilence: No, my Oma is Dutch.

Ambition: Doctor Stalkers are just Doctor Who nerds. I would have only used that label for the ones like Regi and Leaena whose attitudes and behaviors are actually stalkerish, but the phrase actually came from a boy in one of my classes, who does not fall into that category but still called himself a Doctor Stalker.