I wonder

swimmerguy's picture

I wonder, if I did personally know a boring conservative cockwad like, say, Herman Cain to pick a totally random example.
I bet he'd approve of a lot of the things I do, like being on a swim team and swimming every day to keep in shape, keeping at least okay grades and applying myself minimally to school, playing both the piano and the violin and being a part of the orchestra, and generally doing, to use a phrase that gives massive boners to conservative Republicans, "traditional family activities". Or I could throw the word "wholesome" in there somewhere or other and extend that boner a few more inches.

And we're assuming that he doesn't know what I talk about with friends, or that my general greeting for my friends is either "FUCK YOU ____", or "DAMN IT GODDAMN IT ______, WHAT THE FUCK!".
And we say this because there are some traditional conservative adults that I do know, and others that I meet, and they generally like me because I'm courteous to them and they know of all my "wholesome" activities.
But I wonder what Herman Cain would think if all of a sudden he knew I was gay. I haven't changed as a person, I'm not any different, I still do all those conservative cockwad things that give conservative cockwad's boners, but now he knows that simple fact.
Would he still approve?

And I ask this because the piano teacher I've had for maybe 8 years, who, don't get me wrong, is a very nice lady who I liked very much, but I would never be able to get too close to because she is by my own definition a boring conservative cockwad.
Well, all of a sudden, she decided to leave and move to some other state, and last Wednesday was our last lesson, and at the end she was talking about all my good qualities and all the great things I'll do in life, and then probably what will probably end up being the last thing she says to me ever, was something along the lines of "-and I bet you'll get all the ladies too!"
And I just smiled and said bye, but jeez.

In 8 years she never knew, and if she did, I wonder how it would change what she thought of me at the end :P
She'd probably think my "bright future" would be ruined, and I'd get AIDS and die. Well, I don't know that, but I'm assuming.
(A "bright future" sounds effing boring anyway. I really don't even want enough money to buy my own private jet or something, and I don't want "success" if it doesn't make me happy, and I think what will make me the happiest is being poor, exploring nature, and dying young)

In related news, I'm having my first lesson with the new teacher tomorrow. I take summers off anyway, so I'll just take a "trial period" for a few weeks and see how much I like her :P
Cause I can't have a piano teacher I don't like

And in other news, we have an end of the year "All about me" German project paper thing.
We're supposed to write all about ourselves.
And I was planning to just be like awesome, I'll just slip in my paper "Ich bin eine homosexuelle". (I am a gay, obviously)
But then I saw that we have to then read our papers in German to the class. And so I'm debating, now.
Because we're reading it in German, and I'm seriously probably the best German speaker in the class because I'm one of the few that actually cares about learning some German, so I'll be moving kinda quickly, and I'd really hate to be interrupted, because they might not understand a lot of what I say but the word "homosexuelle" kinda pops out at anyone, even an English speaker that knows not a word of German.
And so, I'll undoubtedly get exclamations, and people probably asking to see if they heard it right.
Which would interrupt.
Fuck, I'm overthinking, aren't I? What do you guys think?


ChrisH1551's picture


If you feel like you want to shout it from the top of the fucking school, go ahead. It seems like an epic way to come out. ^_^

On the other hand, if you have to take the time to debate, it might not be worth it.

Just Dave's picture

How about...

You just say "I like boys". Or, apparently "shwull" (not sure about spelling on that one) means the same thing, but is improper.

Also, this is the second consecutive journal that mention's conservative republican's boners. Just an observation.

swimmerguy's picture

Yes yes

I know, I know, sorry, I've been a little wrapped up in my dislike for all things conservative, I got a little carried away.
The next journal won't be about this, I promise :P


Just Dave's picture

Oh no,

Don't be sorry. Trust me, I've done enough ranting about conservatives for a lifetime. I've actually thought about this a lot too; because I never drank or partied, I kind of had a lot in common with the super religous/conservative kids, and was mistaken for one.

It was just the fascination with their boners that I thought was a little funny. It definitely made me rethink what goes on behind their speaking podiums.

elph's picture

So... You already know...

...that your new piano teacher is a lady?

I'm sure that a more-than-willing gay teacher could have been found quite easily!

But... I'm quite relieved you didn't go that route!

So, "someone" crushed your earlier thought of just teaching yourself?


btw: Had you told your teacher who knew you so well for all of 8 years... I can easily envisage her embracing you and wishing all your hopes fulfilled!

Some day... you may wish to send her an update.

jeff's picture


Ich mag die Penisse der Männer Erfahrung?

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

Dracofangxxx's picture

I say do it!

Then you can get all sassy with the class if they have a problem with it.

Or send them to me! You know how well I deal with people :P
That's redick!

radiosilence95's picture

That would be the COOLEST

That would be the COOLEST way to come out evah! You should totally do it, dude. But I would never have the guts to do that myself...

MacAvity's picture


The German language is full of slang - that's actually just about all I know about German, is that it's full of slang - so with a little bit of research you can undoubtedly find a way to say 'gay' without making it uncomfortably obvious.

I think that if I had been born to a conservative Christian family, and born male, I would have been a very good 'cockwad' as you say. Yeah, that's me, a 'good conservative boy' who accidentally ended up with XX chromosomes in a family that has been 'heathen' for five generations... And it's all pretty good. Heheheh.