Im not really sure how this works, but Ill give it a shot (im sorry it is a novel)

KennedyP777's picture

So this year I went away to college, and I met a girl, who was a few years older than me, and we quickly became best friends. Before I met her I never really had any bisexual feelings, neither did she. One thing lead to another and after months of being friends we hooked up and started dating. We didn't tell anyone, I told one of my sisters, and she told one of her friends, but did not want anyone to know because her parents would freak.

Long story short... We are in love, and I moved away, but we decided to wait for each other. We talk everyday, and once she graduates shes moving here and we were going to visit each other lots. And I know this sounds ridiculous, but we were really serious, I can't imagine my life without her and I have never trusted someone like I trust her and never felt so close to someone ever. I am madly in love with her and she is madly in love with me and I am willing to give up everything to be with her.

I come from a fairly liberal family, coming from a big city, where she lives out in the country and has EXTREMELY conservative parents. So, last night she left her phone out and her parents went through all of our texts and pictures and pretty much verbally attacked her telling her they will disown her and that she was going to hell, they took away her phone, her car, and her computer. She thinks she has to stay there and live by their rules, because she can not afford both tuition and room and board, so she relies on them financially for living, food, and some of her tuition if she falls short.

I just don't know what to do, I am devastated, I literally have made myself ill over this and it is really hard because I can't talk about it to anyone but my sister, who tries to understand, but just can't. I feel alone and she says that after she graduates shell still move, and when she can we will still talk. But it is just really hard to imagine that she will actually leave her family. Any advice? or just comments at all would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.



elph's picture

I wish I knew what to advise...

...but, regretting it... I'm at a loss!

And... I hope this episode proves to be just an unhappy, but temporary, blip.

Her parents, however, have behaved egregiously: I cannot imagine their invading their daughters privacy like this.

Dare I suspect that they felt driven by God's will?

lonewolf678's picture


dare I suspect her parents just don't trust their daughter?

KennedyP777's picture

Yeah thats the thing, they

Yeah thats the thing, they dont trust her at all, they had her when they were 16 so I think that they believe shes going to screw up royally. but she seriously never does anything wrong. She partied a little in high school, but really nothing ever serious. They are just psychotic.

loreonpravus's picture

The situation sucks. Uhm.

Coming from a place where one has been oppressed for several years now, the sad thing is she might have to stick it out. How long is it going to be before she graduates, though? People do have a breaking point. And it's brutal, to just sit around and pray things get better.

When you're economically dependent, and living with your parents it complicates the situation loads. If you're away then you only have to pretend when you're around them, but... this is just brutal. Give them time. They might come around. Or they won't.

Let the situation settle for a few hellish days. Then take another look at it. Her parents might've calmed down some, perhaps? Stay strong.

KennedyP777's picture

Thanks, I am hoping they

Thanks, I am hoping they calm down too, but I just don't see it happening, they are like forcing her to go to church and I am fairly sure there will be an intervention.

She will be done in a year and a half. And she tells me after that she will move, and we will figure it out. And its not that I don't have faith in her, but its hard to promise something that BIG a year and a half early. I just am afraid she will never leave them or disobey them so drastically as moving 5 hours away from them.

Thanks for your advice, I am trying to stay strong.

elph's picture

Note to lonewolf678:

So... at least, it appears that God must be functioning as a co-conspirator? :(