Oma

MacAvity's picture

I haven't mentioned too much about this before, because I've been doing a pretty good job of ignoring/avoiding it in real life, but my grandmother Oma is living with my family now and she's a nearly impossible person to live with. She keeps saying that she wants to go home to her two-story house sixty miles away, even though she can scarcely stand up without assistance. She can't hear unless we shout, and then she gets annoyed with us for shouting at her. She always needs help changing her diapers. She calls everybody but the immediate family 'Olga.' Et cetera et cetera et cetera. It's - I would call it intolerable, but we are tolerating it. Just barely tolerating it, yes. Teetering on the brink of not tolerating it, yes. But I guess the word 'intolerable' can't be applied if it's being tolerated, however tenuously.

Anyway, just thought I should mention that.

Comments

Yamamoto's picture

This is just the maturity in

This is just the maturity in me talking, but that is your grandmother... seriously, show so fuckng respect :(

Please don't hate me, but for some reason the way you worded the end of your post made me mad... and I personally order my grandmother.

625539's picture

I think they're showing

I think they're showing enough respect just by having her in their house, first off. Second of all, I think anyone would get frustrated, having to live with someone like that. Most families (including mine) prefer to throw older generations into retirement homes, so personally providing care for someone who's in such a state is a huge sacrifice.

I think everyone on this site would have complained about it, unless you're all saints. And it's not like MacAvity was being all, OMG I HATE THIS BITCH, rather, she, for the most part, stated facts and her experience.

So don't say "show some fucking respect". Not only is that an attempt to guilt-trip a person but it's also rude. Show respect yourself.

Super Duck's picture

I have to agree with Magic

I have to agree with Magic Fantastic here.

It takes a lot to take care of someone who is in that state. My great-grandma was like that for a few years before we eventually had to put her in a nearby nursing home. You have to be very patient with them, and sometimes it just gets stressful.

MacAvity's picture

I know I worded it

I know I worded it disrespectfully. I'm frustrated - my whole family has been frustrated for the past couple of weeks. I do feel sorry for Oma, really I do. But I feel even more sorry for my mother, having to do most of the dealing-with-Oma. And Oma is so delusional and with such a bad memory that she has no idea how bad this is or how long it's been going on or how long it has yet to go on, while we the younger are able to appreciate the hopelessness of the situation. Also having to change poopy old-person diapers.

What do you mean by 'order' your grandmother - I don't understand?

Yamamoto's picture

I mean adore... :P I am

I mean adore... :P I am sorry I typed that wrong.

Plus I am sorry I sounded harsh, but I just exploded mentally at seeing it. It was mostly the way it was worded and I am sorry if I came off kind of mean there...

Forgive me?

MacAvity's picture

Forgiveness granted. And

Forgiveness granted.

And Magic Fantastic.... Thanks.

Super Duck's picture

I can relate...

Before we put her into a nearby nursing home, my great-grandma, who is 87, often had to stay with my dad and grandparents. She talks to herself, gets angry when people try to help her, and hides food in her socks.