I saw his face through a screen today, his eyes like blinking lullabies, and I wondered if he knew I lied. I am undeserving, I am weak and self-destructive. No longer can I look in his eyes and say I have never lied. The nature of the lie itself is inconsequential but the simple act shows the worst aspect of myself - my desire for self-perfection, even only in appearances, on the surface.
Oh, I wish I could give all of you the love I have. You'd do much better with it.
How I miss him, dearly. How close he will be tomorrow, yet unattainable, distant. I think I will go surprise him, look into his eyes, see in them the purest love I'll know.