Purging like a cancer...

Yamamoto's picture

I know this is my second journal article for the day and guess what... I really don't give a flying fuck, becuase I am mad and have things that I need to say. I have gone back and read over a lot of my old writing and the few journal articles that I have written during my short time here at Oasis, I have realized that my homosexuallity is the source of all my problems. Like a mental cancer it is somthing that must be purged form me, or I must die trying. I don't care any more about what the possiable conquense could be to any future spouses or anything like that, or what could happen to myself form what I am sure I am going to be put through in order to get this out of me in any manner that I think will work... even it means putting on a shock coller and shocking myself every time I think about cute guys.... maybe behavioral threpy will save me there.

Anyway I have already talked to my mother and we are going to be spending lots of money over the summer on these various programs that will get rid of me being gay... or at least change my behavior so that I can have heterosexual relationships, becuase depsite how unfulling that may be... form what I can see any relatonship with a guy for me would just be worse... and personally I would say the rest of you where fooling yourself, but it is obvious I would be worng in saying that, becuase not everyone feels the same about themselves as I do...

I really am starting to believe that this will be the right thing to do, no matter what exterme I have to go to in order to get rid of this 'cancer' in my brain I think that I should do it... so I can just live a normal life like everyone else. :(

Comments

ChrisH1551's picture

Ha! Wait till i get home.

Ha! Wait till i get home. This deserves something typed on my laptop not on my iPod.

Yamamoto's picture

Fine dude... whatever, but

Fine dude... whatever, but if you try to start a argument with me then I am not going to respond, becuase I am tried of that stupid childish arguing that we did, and I am not doing it again :)

ChrisH1551's picture

I'm not starting another

I'm not starting another fight. I'm stating the obvious. You were dissing and arguing with Jeff, and Dracofangxxx (notice it's not Dragonfang, but Dracofang) And, lol, you just dissed me by calling me an asshole, not to mention the times before. And, do YOU go to high school? Are you a gay teenager? No, you're not. And even when you DID go to HS, I don't think you should've been qualified as gay since you're wanting to change that. But my point being, this isn't bullying compared to that. Just saying.

Yamamoto's picture

Dude all I am going to say

Dude all I am going to say is that not one thing you just said was cool... I mean that was pretty hateful. I have heard some mean stuff before, but that bit about me in HS that was not cool at all. I want a apolgy about that. It was just not cool... besides it is obvious that you have not read the entire thing, becuase I said I have changed my mind about changing. So your starting a pointless arugment.

ChrisH1551's picture

Not starting anything, and

Not starting anything, and not apologizing because I didn't try to offend you. I found that it made a very valid point. And you can't just CHANGE your mind about wanting to TRY (not succeed, because that is impossible) and change your sexuality that fast. Really. Sometimes you worry me with all your drama.

Yamamoto's picture

Actually I can change my

Actually I can change my mind that fast... it happens all the time when I get super deppressed, and then when I feel better or someone tells me that what I am doing is not a good idea... then I don't do it. I mean I am prefectly able to change my mind about such a thing... I have told you I am bi-polar and I am not sure it is that well under control and I take my meds... so again it is just shit that never works like usal. My moods go up and down all the fucking time and when they go down I think of crap like this, and then change my mind, so yes it is prefectly possiable. I mean you are not being a very accepting person Chris... I am sorry I am not mentally prefect like you :(

Super Duck's picture

Dude...

Dude, I am sorry. I'm usually nice, but I just read this whole thing and most of the 100+ comments, and being gay is NOT your problem. Your problem is being a huge fucking drama queen. Nearly every single post you've made on here has led to a gigantic explosion of drama. Are you trolling? 'Cause you are pretty much a world-class troll if you are. In my nearly 2 years on Oasis, there has definitely been some drama, but I have NEVER witnessed drama of this magnitude.

You think Jeff's jokes are immature!? Look at your drama-fests! You say you're a grown man, but you're like a fucking preteen girl! You can't let ANYTHING go! Look at you. You're arguing with strangers over the internet all the fucking time.

And you only get mad when people try to help you. Every. Single. Time.

Maybe I'm just mad because the newspaper teacher bitched at me for leaving an hour before her class, when it wasn't even her business. I'm sorry, but damn, dude! Get a grip! Life's too short to go through it as a drama queen.

Yamamoto's picture

Guess what... I don't

Guess what... I don't care... I can be a drama queen if I want. I mean all it does is make people hate me which I know they already do. I mean what better way to bring out the hate that I know is already there, than by causing drama. Plus no one is trying to help me, becuase I can tell through comments like yours and Flybys that in truth you guys actally hate my gut and don't care about me at all...

Heck I bet you guys just post on my crap so you see me suffer sinice it is probably lulz city for you.... is that it Super Duck... do all I do is entertain all of you, becuase I am so gald that my suffering is a big joke to all of your stupid mean asses.

Super Duck's picture

Okay, no more nice.

OH NO, STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET TOLD ME TO STOP WHINING! MY POOR PATHETIC PITIFUL LIFE IS SPIRALING INTO THE ABYSS! HOWEVER SHALL I MAKE IT?

Get. A. Fucking. Grip. You're a grown man. You are acting like a little 12-year-old emo bitch.

I don't hate you, dude. I don't even know you. But your whining and dramawhoring DOES irritate the shit out of me.

Do you know why people don't like you? BECAUSE YOU ARE A WHINY DRAMAWHORE. Now, I'm sure you do have your redeeming qualities, so you shouldn't hate yourself, but I think you'd have a lot more friends if you made an honest effort to stop being so damn whiny and negative. And then maybe you wouldn't feel the need to be such a dick about everything.

radiosilence95's picture

Super Duck...

Have I told you lately that I love you? :D

I wanted to say all of that, but I didn't want people to be like "Oh my god, what a jerk!"

Dracofangxxx's picture

She usually worries about that, too :P

But I reckon with the loss of FCG every day... You know, totally need a stress reliever XP
-
Amazingly offensive <3

Super Duck's picture

I just thought it needed to

I just thought it needed to be said! And I honestly don't think many people are gonna disagree, either...

Yamamoto's picture

Well I don't care anyway...

Well I don't care anyway... you people can hate me for being whiny anyway. I don't whine when I am not on the internet, becuase I don't like to talk to people about personal stuff in RL, and make them mad at me to my face like you guys are. I just can't stand to have many people mad at me... to my face anyway.

Of course I don't care if you guys dislike me, or any humans dislike becuase humans are just mean and annoying to me anyway. Humans treat me like shit, and that is where my exterme furry fetish comes form anyway, so I guess I can blame people like you guys for that.... and what you people see is not how I really am... I am not a drama whore when I talk to people in RL... so seriously your point about me being a better person in that way is just moot... I think that it is more that people are assholes for no reason...

ChrisH1551's picture

Supa' Duck :D

Yes, I also love you right now. And your flat out honesty. xD

Super Duck's picture

Haha thank you! I just think

Haha thank you! I just think it needed to be said.

Human101's picture

RL?

I thought in real life that you just go around threatening to kill your roomate?

Also, being a homo is NOT a problem, causing unneccessary debates/drama/everything you're currently doing is.

You need attention? Buy a whore, talk to your mother, go to therapy, talk to your dog. Don't bring your shit on here and offend everyone. This is obviously a gay-friendly site so the idea that you're going to try to say that we can be cured and that this is a decision is just ludacris.

If we can be cured of homosexuality maybe you can be cured of being an insecure, attention desperate queen.

Start hating me, thank you.

Yamamoto's picture

Again... that kind of

Again... that kind of attention that you discribe is not egough for me and is basically attention form people who I don't believe care about me. To me my mothers love is somthing I don't care about and just don't want her attention sinice she pushes me away most of the time.... the whore is just a stupid idea... going to threpy is somthing I can't do yet becuase I have to wait till my appoinment... and I don't have a dog, but I do have a cat and most when I get depressed I like to torture him so I just try and avoid him when I am in a depressed mode so I don't devolp into a pyschopath or somthing. So I don't understand where I am supposed to get healthy attention form... so I just come here for unhealthy attention becuase I know that no one will ever give me any attention in real life.

I only started to be a drama queen when I realized that I was a very very boring person who no one was going to lisitin to unless I was a drama queen. Trust me, if I stopped whining on this site, and went to my normal self... I would probably set the record for the most boring journals that make you say.. 'Who gives a fuck about that' becuase nobody cares about the stuff I like... and I mean no body. I mean who enjoys the history of soap... me... who doesn't a hell of a lot of people.... :( I am just very boring and so I just suppliment drama to try and fix that... :(

Human101's picture

So you think that being full

So you think that being full of drama is making you more friends?...

Trust me, being boring and completely sane will get you more friends. Insulting everyone on here by saying that homosexuality is bad and that you're going to get "cured" like it's some disease, will NOT, I repeat, WILL NOT win you any friends.

I used to write journals about my day. I never needed comments, I needed to write what was on my mind, like a typical journal. Don't use this site for attention, use it to help free your thoughts.

But try not to write homicidal poems because we do take those seriously. And leave your fucking cat alone.

Yamamoto's picture

I dont' under where you

I dont' under where you assumed that I care about making friends... I know that the drama thing will not make me any friends, but unlike being boring... it will get me attention. No being boring does not get you friends... I am sorry, but I don't know where you live, but I never made a single friends form acting boring.

As for a correction the cure thing was for myself only and had no suggestion on yourself being cured or anything like or wethier or not you are capable of being cured... that appiled only to me and you need to stop with that crap of taking offense about things that I say about myself... ok.

ChrisH1551's picture

A few things...

First off, if you ARE going to be a novelist, learn some correct grammar. I'm just saying, it makes things easier to read, and I couldn't comprehend half of what you said.

SECONDLY, you were comparing homosexuality to cancer, which is a horrible disease. That is what offends most of us here, because I, in no way, think that being gay is horrible or disease like. I LOVE myself, and my being Of the Gay is one of the best aspects about me. :D

Yamamoto's picture

Oh my god... really... that

Oh my god... really... that pissed you off.... that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. I was talking about for myself only and I need somthing to compare it for my personal need. So I don't really find the fact that it offended by it to have any leget reasoning. *Contiunes to ingore it* :P

Dude leave me alone about the grammer I am getting very annoyed about that. I don't need you to tell me somthing I already know. This is not a novel... is this a fucking journal and I couldn't really care about the grammer. So it is not my problem if you can't read it. Now if you are trying to bother me by doing that... then guess what... it is working, so stop. Though it is not going to make me leave if that is that what you are working at. Your dislike for me Chris will not drive me away form somewhere I like to be.

ChrisH1551's picture

Actually, a few things.

Actually, a few things. First, it is your problem if we can't read it, because it is then easier to misunderstand, and leads to more arguements. Although, you wouldn't mind that, as long as it gets you attention, right? Cough Cough...kidding, I think...and just because it isn't a novel means you can just throw away grammar like it's an old vibrator. It's a necessity.

And, I'm not TRYING to get you off of here. I don't mind you being here, but you just need to stop with all the Dramawhoring. Although your newest journal said you were done, I've seen a few times previously that claimed you were done "fighting" and "starting drama" and look what happened. This is one of the longest comment-threads I've seen since joined (right up there with the Corrupted Wish Game ^_^). And all the comments are directed at you. That = Attention/Drama Whore.

People concerned if I'm just feeding the troll, I'm not. this is, again, stating the obvious. The arguement COULD be a lot worse.

Yamamoto's picture

I am going to try to make it

I am going to try to make it my last one, but it is obvious that Human101 is going to be a bully... which I can see by quit a few journals which I didn't respond to becuase I said I was going to try and stop creating drama. Yeah they pissed me off... no I didn't respond... why becuase I told myself I wouldn't try and cause more drama and so that is what I am going to do. Now seriously Human101 stop attempting to be a bully... and then everything can be fine... otherwise at that point you are the only who looks like they are trolling :P

ChrisH1551's picture

I don't really blame

I don't really blame Human101 for saying what he says. :D

Yamamoto's picture

I don't blame him ethier to

I don't blame him ethier to tell you the truth, but I would like to stop, becuase I am starting to feel like I am being picked on and bullied at this point which I don't tolerate. So I am asking him nicely to stop... I said I would try and quit with the drama and now I want him to lay off.

funnyflyby's picture

Note- Thanks for mentioning the Corrupted Wish Game!

I was about to come up here and solely state that I'll be really pissed if this gets more comments than the CWG. The recent one, I mean. The original has 810 comments or something.

And Super Duck said what I was trying to say, but better. Thanks!

Now I refuse to comment on here any more, because HEY YAMADUDE I don't really care anymore and am just going to work on keeping the Corrupted Wish Game at the top of Active Forum Topics. Everyone's said everything already, and I care more about that game than repeating other people's points. CWG is more mature than you, anyway >:P

Scoff.

Wow.woW

Yamamoto's picture

Yeah that is ture I am a

Yeah that is ture I am a immature little idiot... :(

Human101's picture

Amen. I hope you find Jesus,

Amen. I hope you find Jesus, Kawaski-tomokatoyoshi.

Dracofangxxx's picture

Do you want some cheese with that whine?

Anyways, maybe you're NOT a homosexual- You're a dramasexual!
-
Amazingly offensive <3

Yamamoto's picture

Probably ture... just

Probably ture... just completely worthless...

ChrisH1551's picture

XD

I LOVE this post, Draco. :D

Human101's picture

Hey man you quit it with the

Hey man you quit it with the drama and I'll quit mocking you. I warn you though, as soon as it returns I will continue as well. Also, I give you props for your normal journal. You aren't boring, you're normal. That's how all of our lives are. Most of us blog about a specific event that occurred and just go in-depth. None of us have Hollywoodized lives (I'm assuming so at least). We welcome the normal you, the one that is like us, not the Hollywood side.

Yamamoto's picture

Alright I can do that... I

Alright I can do that... I mean I have just never had any pay anttention to me acting normal before is all... :P I will stop all the drama, and only talk about things that happen in my life, but will mention things that bug me sinice everyone else seems to... I will just try to think before I post to make sure it is an actual problem... and not just stupid drama :D