Sexuality Drama?

swimmerguy's picture

Jeez, I've seen a lot of depression today, this girl in 4th period was crying because apparently math and life in general was stressing her out, I really can't judge if she's for real because I really don't know anything about her life outside of school, but I think she's a drama queen. I don't know though.
And then here too, jeez, I just wanna cry now, so bad. Because what I really want to do is on my new phone I have a drawing pad feature, so I can make this big rainbow "I'M GAY" that I just wish I could send to all my friends then put on a t-shirt, but I don't want to because I'm all scared and the thought of telling them or my mom just like makes me sick with thinking of all the things that could go wrong.... :P
And then school has been especially crappy this week, and I've also had like less than 5 hours of sleep for the past few days.
But I'm whining, I need to cheer up. So I'll listen to happy music...

But it's not working, GODDAMNIT I WANT TO BE HAPPY. I probably just need sleep.

ANYWAY, long, bitchy, depressing, moaning rant over, I was going to ask if you've ever had any huge drama or issues due mostly due to your coming out.
I mean, I think I've been pretty lucky, I guess, as most of the friends I had last year that I told were all pretty accepting, there was only a few that gave me shit. And a few guys still do, actually.
But this year because of changing classes and schools, a lot of friends that used to be just semi-good friends are now in my best friends circle. And none of them know because I didn't tell them.
And I'm kinda scared to tell some of them. But I also feel really terrible when I can't talk about that incredibly cute guy I sit next to in orchestra when they're talking about all those hot girls they've seen around the school... :P
I guess I'm being a wimp, I came out once, I can do it again.

But sometimes I do feel like a huge wimp. Because I know there's people who are just like "HI I'M GAY" when I only come out when forced because I'm bad at hiding things.
Like, when I really came out was at the beginning of 8th grade last year when I had a girlfriend and I was really stressing about having to kiss her, so I just told her and ruined her.
I posted here about it a bunch, so you could probably find it in my old journals. Oh, I was probably a whiny asswipe back then.
Wait, I still am. But even more of a whiny asswipe than now. Shocking, I know.
And then I only came out to my dad when I had to in order to keep coming to this site, which I couldn't bear to leave, and hey, probably still can't, I dunno I haven't tried in a while.

GODDAMN IT I JUST REMEMBERED I have to take the bus tomorrow, because my brother's sick and taking an afternoon AP test, so he won't drive me, he'll just show up late... :P
So I have to take the frickin bus to school that blows ass so hard.
Jeez, I just have like, nothing to look forward to this week. That's always a real debbie downer...

Ugh, I need to stop being such a self-centered little bitch. (jk, if you don't notice, I love myself, as tones don't really get communicated through type, I'm joking)

ANYWAY, enough about me, if you have come out, how did you, and what drama has been associated with it?


ferrets's picture

not so much...

there was this one girl who refused to belive me tho. i dunno if thats drama tho... she was just kinda jerky about it. didnt really stres me out tho. oh and i was already about 75% of the way out, but then i got outed the last 25% (to me class not my family) but that really didnt bother me no not really

"A loving man and woman in a committed relationship can marry. Dogs, no matter what their relationship, are not allowed to marry. How should society treat gays and lesbians in committed relationships? As dogs or as humans?"

radiosilence95's picture

A couple of my closest

A couple of my closest friends know. But I didn't walk up to them and say, "Oh hey, I'm gay, just so ya know." I talked to them about me falling for my best friend, and that alone spoke for itself. One of my friends who knows told me that her dad is bi, and another friend who knows is bi herself, so that was definitely an advantage.

Other than that, I haven't officially come out yet.

jeff's picture


Don't come out to them, just be out. Don't censor, and when you say something that makes them ask "Wait... are you gay?!" Just be all, "Yeah, of course..."

Typically, people react to your coming out the way it is presented. If you act very nonchalant about it, they will accept it that way. If you tell them like you're announcing you have stage four cancer, they will react to that, as well. You get to set the tone here, and it is often hard to unset it, so always good to do it right.

I just started a new job, so I get to come out to people all the time now. It's fun.

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

radiosilence95's picture

Yeah, but...

I could be all nonchalant about it, but I, along with many other people who have yet to be out, still really worry about the repercussions. I may lose friends if I choose to be out. And what if it gets awkward with some of my friends, because they'll wonder if I want to fuck them or something? Will they be uncomfortable having me over at their house to spend the night? Will they be embarrassed to be around me? Will they think I'm gross?

There's just so much that could go wrong for me if I come out. I have a lot to lose. Friends, respect, even family.

jeff's picture


You can't lose friends by coming out. You'll just weed out the people who aren't really friends quickly. Otherwise you're saying you'd rather they like the fake you than avoid the real you?

As long as you don't want to fuck any of them (and just don't tell them if you do, heh), then that is their issue.

If they're uncomfortable having you for a sleep over, that is their issue.

If they're embarrassed to be around you, that is also their issue.

I'm not saying this makes things easier for you. But on some level, if every life decision requires nothing to change and everything to go perfect, you won't do anything in life. On some level, you have to think of yourself.

You need to do what is most beneficial to you and your well-being. Constantly lying to keep yourself surrounded by people who might otherwise hate you is a bad use of your time. And, if they're going to avoid you once they know you, cut the dead weight now, and speed the process of surrounding yourself with people who truly care for you and love you for who you are. Many of those friends should stay the same, by the way.

Same with respect. If you only have respect because of a massive lie, you don't truly have respect.

Family is the bigger issue, depending on your age and situation. If your home life could become very negative if you come out, then sure, be cautious. If you're in some "no son of mine is going to be queer" houses, then sure, shut the fuck up and plan your escape ASAP. But if it is just uncomfortableness and readjustment, then again, sooner trumps later.

The repercussions of being out are learning the truth faster than you might want it. The benefits of being out are that you get to push off all the mental energy about your sexuality onto other people, and let them deal with it.

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

ChrisH1551's picture


I'm going through what you are right now, basically. Scared of mom's reaction, just wanting to blurt it out and get it over with. only difference is that I'm not out to anyone, except my sister. Nobody at school knows. But I plan to come out by middle of Sophomore year, and I feel as though the real drama will start there. :D

Dracofangxxx's picture

I agree with Jeff XD

That's why it's so easy for me to be out. Cause if I see some titties, I'm just like, DAMN SON SHE HAS A NICE RACK and all the girls are like "What?" and I'm like "Yeah. I meant what I said... ;D"

But seriously, I could make you that shit XP You can wear it with the scarf XD
Amazingly offensive <3

funnyflyby's picture

I kind of just recently came out...

which is one of those things that I need to update everyone on.
It was really epic in my mind, although it probably wasn't really all that epic.

Clueless and I both did Day of Silence, and Shneer was our spokesperson (seeing as it was the science fair and we needed to present our projects...) and I gave Shneer written permission to tell people that I was gay, which is true enough to come out as anyway. So after reading the little pamphlets explaining what DOS is, people would ask, 'WAIT, are you gay, Flyby?' And Shneer was like YEAH OF COURSE WHY DO YOU THINK FLYBY NERVOUSLY GIGGLES EVERY TIME SOMEONE SAYS WE SHOULD GO OUT?! IT WAS OBBBBVIOUS!'
And generally made everybody feel like a moron.

Super Duck's picture

I never chose to have

I never chose to have everyone know... That's digging your own grave where I live. But many people did find out in what was quite possibly the largest explosion of drama ever in my life.

It was 7th grade. I had finally gotten up the courage to tell my first non-internet and non-family person, my (former) best friend at school. It was in study hall via note-passing. She asked if I was gay because she saw me checking out Old Crush, and I said yes.

Things were normal for a while, but she got mad at me a few months later over something incredibly stupid. I think it was because I didn't have the homework she wanted to copy or something because I was in Honors English. So she decided she'd go tell the clique of mean girls! Much, MUCH drama ensued by the end of that week. And it took it almost 3 years to finally stop being such a huge freakin' deal.