Hey guys, I know it's been forever since I've been on here. If it seems like I only ever come back when I have a problem, that's because I do. It's kind of a complicated situation, so just bear with me.
I realized that I was attracted to my best friend about 5 years ago, and not much has changed since. I came out to him last summer, a month before we left for university, and he was totally cool. We talked for hours, and in the course of talking, I told him how I felt (which isn’t something I really meant to do). He was fine with that too, and I can’t remember ever being more relieved in my life.
Skip forward a little. Over the course of our freshman year of college, we would see each other about three times a semester, since our schools are just close enough to make the trip. Because colleges aren’t hotels, we only had our own beds to sleep in, so we just shared a bed, and it wasn’t really a big deal. But one night this spring, when I rolled over, our lips brushed, and he kissed me. Avoiding details, we wound up having sex. The next day, we had a very serious talk about it, and he said that it had been mostly about experimenting for him; he admitted that he had been questioning his sexuality over the year, but that after the night before, he was sure that he was straight. I was crushed.
The problem is, now I feel more deeply for him than ever before. I want to get over him, and just be friends, but I’m afraid that the only way to really get over him is to shut him out completely. They say that time is the best way to get over people, but that assumes a break-up, in which case you can totally shut someone out for some time. So I’m in a tough situation, since I don’t want to throw away the best friendship I’ve ever had, but I also am facing a depressing love life if I do stay around him. Do you have any advice or can you see any other way out of this? I’m really conflicted about it.