I'm moving out of my flat tomorrow. I'm sitting on the bed looking into the almost empty room. A disassebled shelf strewn across the carpet, and a board with all my photos and cards against a plain wall. It really saddens me and I always feel this deep melachony when I have to move. I am not sure why, but it feels like breaking up. The way you walk up the stairs knowing each step or the angle and length your turn the shower on exactly for the desired volume and temperature of water.
It's so sad.For now I'm moving to a friend's for a few weeks. I have so much stuff - and boxing them away is like boxing away memorities, incubating and bursting to open one day. I wish there was a home I could move back to. It isn't like my parents don't love me, it's just they don't live in the country - and finding a place to live that is affordable is near impossible - especially when I want to live in or close to the city. I really want to live on my own - but the costs are so steep. I seem to have a lot more to write, but everything seems to have escaped me. Just very emotional right now.