The pros and cons of being gay

swimmerguy's picture

Inspired by Magic's forum.
"The pros and cons of being gay"

Well, being the negative bastard I am, let's start with the cons first:
- I can't get married, at least, not yet in this state (at least we don't have a state constitutional amendment banning it, like some states) (this isn't necessarily a part of being gay, I guess, it's just the way others take it. But it still counts)
- I have to be all nervous when I come out to family and friends
- Intolerance from others
- One can't have children
- And probably the worst one, the dramatically reduced dating pool :(
(Psh, and I hear the girls saying "Oh no! All the hot boys are gay!" Well BOO FUCKING HOO, how do you think I feel?)

First, to refute the cons:
- Having a legally recognized marriage doesn't really bother me. I mean, the economic benefits are nice, and I'd hate to have to wait outside the hospital room where a boyfriend is dying because I can't marry him and so am not family.
And marriage is on it's way anyway. Once America leaves the damn stone age, at least. We'll just have to keep fighting, and we'll hopefully get it into federal law or a federal amendment, in which case state laws wouldn't matter, as the constitution is "the supreme law of the land"

- Yeah, I have to be nervous when coming out, which I'm sure causes all of us stress, but hey, it makes us stronger. And also, harder for me to lie for extended periods of time. This kind of "practice" makes it easier to say "I lied" than to cover it up with another lie

- Intolerance, hell, it gives me something to rant about, and it hasn't really affected me in any terribly personal way yet. It's fun to rub their faces in it anyway.

- We can't have children, I guess that's true. There are other options though, and I don't think we need more children crowding up the world anyway. I don't think I ever really wanted children.

-Yeah, to the reduced dating pool, that is sad, and mostly bad. The little bit of good though is when I finally do get a relationship, I'd be able to truly appreciate it and enjoy it for what it is, unlike a girl or something who is never ever single and changes boyfriends by regular intervals. I knew a girl who broke up with a guy after like 6 months "because she felt like it"

And now to the pros:
- It gives me something to have pride in even when I have pride in nothing else. Even if feel tired as shit and just as shitty about everything else, I could always feel passionate and have pride in my sexuality :P
- It just makes me stronger. Because sometimes I think about all the comings out and shit, and I'm like "wow, a straight guy would never have to deal with telling his parents he's gay, I guess"
- I'm sorry, it's just so much hotter
- It's really fun to shove the stupid conservatives' collective face in my flaming rainbow homosexuality
- I just think it's cool cause it's more unique, like maybe 5% of people are gay, everyone else is in the boring, gray, and very heterosexual 95% while we rainbows are over here in the infinitely cooler 5%.

- This is probably just for me, but I'm sorry, boys are just so much hotter. I never understand where straight guys (or lesbians or bi girls or whatever) are coming from. No one else sees this? Jeez, I like get a hug and then I feel major boobage on my chest and suddenly I wanna take a shower. I guess we'll agree to disagree, right? :P

So, being gay has probably made my life harder in a thousand ways, but I don't really realize it because I've been this way as long as I can remember, from my first crush on a guy, even if I didn't realize what it was, in third grade, the same guy that I've been crushing on for years until I think I got largely over him halfway throught this year.
Anyway, it has made my life harder, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Jeez, I can't imagine being straight, I can't imagine how boring that would be.
It's kinda like "Here's old man number 1 with his wife", "Here's old man number 2 with his wife" ... "Here's the much more fabulous number 42 with his husband" And it's like "HELLO YES PLEASE INTERESTING"
Ya know? It's like by the time a guy is 50, it's basically a requirement that he have some average looking old wife with him to raise the children.
That's so boring.

Anyway, after stretching out a tiny bit of already overstretched content way too long, I have to say good night.
Feel free to add things to any part of my list, as I undoubtedly missed something, or you might *ahem* happen to disagree with some certain section or two about it... :P
Goodnight Oasisies!

Comments

kamkam's picture

lol

I totally agree with those last three pros

may the crests of light,love,hope,courage,and kindness shine brightly on a new day.

loreonpravus's picture

'bout where they come from...

We free up the ladies so you have more boys available and vice versa =P

For some reason, gay people seem a lot more resilient and open-minded. Possibly because the society we put up with makes us tougher.

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

Unfortunately,

Having several trans friends, I have noticed a sad piece of reality- gay people aren't nearly as accepting as you'd expect. For some reason, you often find gay men and women looking with disgust upon the trans community- and of course on other little communities. It just goes to show that what you expect isn't always there.

However, I do agree that gay folk are quite accepting of each other.

* * *
If there is a god, why couldn't he have given me wings?

loreonpravus's picture

I don't know a lot of trans

I don't know a lot of trans people, but I kind of get a sense of that on internet forums, etc. I can't really speak on that, though.

The acceptance was kind of a general blanket statement. What I'm saying is if they were the exact same person except straight, they'd probably be more condescending.

ChrisH1551's picture

besides the point... I

besides the point...
I FUCKING LOVE YOUR PICTURE
~~~~~
~I don't need no fakes around me, all I want is you to be with me...here I am...~

lonewolf678's picture

Well,

marriage and intolerance will change eventually, time has a way of changing things (it's inevitable). "We can't have children..." sure you can, adopt a child. What better way to pass on unconditional love for a child?

crywolf's picture

i'm defiantly with ya, boys

i'm defiantly with ya, boys are wayyyy hotter no debate about it

ferrets's picture

haha

the boob hug thing is totally true. when a girl hugs me and i feel her boobs squash against me, its just so like, blehish :P

"A loving man and woman in a committed relationship can marry. Dogs, no matter what their relationship, are not allowed to marry. How should society treat gays and lesbians in committed relationships? As dogs or as humans?"

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

Truly I say to thee

'Tis the benefit of being bisexual. You get to enjoy the hotness of men and the boobage of women.

* * *
If there is a god, why couldn't he have given me wings?

Dracofangxxx's picture

AGREED <3

-
That's redick!

jeff's picture

Hmm, let'see here...

We'll go in order:
Cons
"I can't get married, at least, not yet in this state" - Not a huge deal, especially given your age and the speed of this debate. The odds of you not being able to get married by the time you're 30 seem unlikely, and no one under 30 should get married, so it all works out.

"I have to be all nervous when I come out to family and friends" - You don't have to be, you choose to be. I mean, if you're gay, confident, and sure of yourself, why give anyone a chance to harsh your joy? Tell people like you're sharing the best news ever, and let them have the worried reaction.

"Intolerance from others" - Theoretically, I suppose, but honestly, I get way more anti-vegan stuff in my life. The gay stuff, no one cares about. Of course, more people see me put hummus in my mouth. Anyway, I just started a new job, so at first opportunity, I made some case to out myself in some drama-free way. No one cares, as it should be.

"One can't have children" - Completely untrue. You could jizz into a good friend's (or an anonymous) egg and let it cook in a rent-a-uterus if you want your own kids. You may marry some guy who didn't get his sexuality sorted early enough and have step-kids from "Oopsie" marriage. You can adopt. You can foster. Lots of options here. Also, if your husband has a sister, and she donates an egg, you can be gaymarried with technically your own bio-kids with half of each of your genetic material.

"And probably the worst one, the dramatically reduced dating pool" - Only the largest of whores complain there aren't enough gay guys. There are more than you'll ever need to pick from. This is a total non-issue, unless you plan to live somewhere way off the grid. Stay near urban centers and this is irrelevant.

Pros
"It gives me something to have pride in ..." - Well, I'm all for having Pride in overcoming societal and other obstacles, the strides the community is making, etc., but I never took pride just in my sexuality. You seem like you have enough interesting things in your life without needing this to fall back on. But your mileage may vary.

"It just makes me stronger." - I do think sexuality makes you investigate yourself, your beliefs and society in a way that straight people flat out aren't required to. They can, but it is optional. So, completely agreed.

"I'm sorry, it's just so much hotter" - Again, 100% accurate, hehe.

"It's really fun to shove the stupid conservatives' collective face in my flaming rainbow homosexuality" - Well, the generation most against gays is, thankfully, about to die, so aside from right wing pandering, this will all end soon. In fact, there almost seems to be movement to make gay marriage an issue in 2012, in that many Republicans are starting to support it, ahead of Obama. Not sure if this will gain any traction, time will tell. Also, according to most anti-gay people, this is being shoved down their throats, not in their face, which always seems even more gay, but if that's how they want it shoved, fine by me...

"I just think it's cool cause it's more unique, like maybe 5% of people are gay, everyone else is in the boring, gray, and very heterosexual 95% while we rainbows are over here in the infinitely cooler 5%." - As the old saying goes, you didn't choose to be gay. You were chosen.

---
"Why be given a body if you have to keep it locked up in a case like a rare, rare fiddle?" - Katherine Mansfield

swimmerguy's picture

Jeff, perceptive as always...

Hmmmm...
Good advice, mostly. But about like the dating pool, this journal was half about in general gay people, but it's also partly about how it affects my life right now.
And so, it makes it so I totally can't get a date right now. If I was desperate and straight, I could have had girlfriends in the double digits by now, considering I pathetically had 4 while trying to avoid them... :P
Well, at least you give me hope for when I'm out of high school and the house, so that's good. But for now, my right arm will continue to get far stronger than my left from more often... usage.

And hey, probably one of the most homophobic people in the GOP, Rick Santorum, is only 53. He could have like 30 more years of gay-bashing. I'll be 45.
But let's hope that most of them are nearly dead :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt5ghXdq6Z0&safe_search=on

jeff's picture

Well...

You're out at school, no? Seems like someone should come out of the closet to date the hot varsity swimmer... what's with those losers?

You can switch arms. Also, if you sit on your left hand and cut off circulation for a while, it will feel like someone else is doing it.

The Republicans are anti-gay to the extent that it stokes their base, who are mainly elderly. Their anti-gay convictions will disappear when its usefulness to get people to the polls does. Have you tried Googling the word Santorum?

---
"Why be given a body if you have to keep it locked up in a case like a rare, rare fiddle?" - Katherine Mansfield

swimmerguy's picture

Yeah

Sadly, it seems to me that swimming for the most part actually attracts conservatives. It's that whole "hard work is good for the soul" kind of thing, cause it is hard work, and that gives boners to conservatives.
Not as much in high school swimming tho... Damn, I should be like "So, there's 40 of us on this team, which using the 5% trick means 2 of us are gay. I'm accounted for, so, who wants to go make out?"

See, but I'm not sure I could use my left arm. Maybe I'll get back to you on that.

I've been wondering about when Utah will have gay marriage, considering they both have an amendment against it and cities like Provo that are 90% Mormon. Mormons allowed blacks into the priesthood in 1978, which was nearly 10 years after Alabama gave blacks their rights.
So, assuming Mormons are 10 years behind the curve into liberalism, that means Utah won't have legal marriage until 10 years after Alabama has it. That might be a while.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt5ghXdq6Z0&safe_search=on

jeff's picture

Once...

more states have it, there will be lawsuits about it being recognized across borders, which will lead to federal marriage equality. Won't need all 50 states to adopt it, once the wave kicks in...

Well, even some non-swimmer your age should be interested, no? Any cute guys attend the meets for no reason? Don't underestimate the power of a roomful of classmates in Speedos to pull people out of the safety of their closets. Look around. Who doesn't need to be there? ;-)

---
"Why be given a body if you have to keep it locked up in a case like a rare, rare fiddle?" - Katherine Mansfield

elph's picture

So...

That injury a month ago to your favored left hand has obliged you to switch?

http://www.oasisjournals.com/2011/05/well

Whatever... I think Jeff's suggestion of sitting on your left hand might have some merit :) Try it... report back!

But at your level of proficiency, I'm guessing that such would add little to the experience!

Yamamoto's picture

Ahh yes... old Santorum...

Ahh yes... old Santorum... :P Almost known as the frothy mixture of lube and feces that comes for the aftermath of anal sex... :P

There is no way I will ever take him seirously :P Not with that name :P

Yamamoto's picture

I have persoanlly found the

I have persoanlly found the hosptial thing to be kind of stupid... :P Personally if I am dieing... or sick... I am going to get out of my hosptial bed and tell the nurses... "Fuck you guys... I am going outside to give my man a hug..." I mean seriously :P That is the stupidest shit ever, plus I have had random people form church, when I was younger, come visit me in the hosptial before so again... never gotten this one... :P

jeff's picture

Err...

Not sure how exactly you're proving your point by having to crawl out of your deathbed to go outside your hospital room to see your partner...

---
"Why be given a body if you have to keep it locked up in a case like a rare, rare fiddle?" - Katherine Mansfield

Yamamoto's picture

No point to prove... it is

No point to prove... it is just what I would do if they wouldn't let him come see me is all... I wasn't proving any points... :P I find the whole silly anyway and why did I have to have a point I don't understand what you mean by that? :S

ferrets's picture

yeah...

but if you were incapacitated? or in critical condition, and thus unable to move yourself?

"A loving man and woman in a committed relationship can marry. Dogs, no matter what their relationship, are not allowed to marry. How should society treat gays and lesbians in committed relationships? As dogs or as humans?"