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625539's picture

my last journal was a lie.

i am too unhappy, teenage for him, for anyone really. unworthy.
i only bring people pain, including myself.

i try so hard not to though.
i wish others would see that.

especially him.
god, it's so hard.

to know that it's coming, that in a few days i know for almost fact he will say his real goodbyes.

i hate sleeping alone.

Comments

ferrets's picture

im terribley sorry my dear.

its difficult to be you right now. your emotions be ing up and down and all the bullshit. but of course, i think your tricking yourself about bringing others pain. at least on here, youve written some very wonderful things that im sure have entranced many a reader.

"A loving man and woman in a committed relationship can marry. Dogs, no matter what their relationship, are not allowed to marry. How should society treat gays and lesbians in committed relationships? As dogs or as humans?"

jeff's picture

Err....

Yeah, I'm with the ferrets, don't think you have the capacity to bring the pain.

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"Why be given a body if you have to keep it locked up in a case like a rare, rare fiddle?" - Katherine Mansfield

radiosilence95's picture

I've learned through

I've learned through personal experience that things are rarely as bad as they seem. It's amazing, the things we have the power to overcome.

Also, to repeat what ferrets said, I highly doubt you bring other people pain. I see no proof of any pain-bringing on your part.

Dracofangxxx's picture

You're too sexy to cause pain :o

except the pain of jealousy and blueballing XP

Don't get yourself down, hun :) We all love you here <3 just because some things don't work out doesn't mean you're terrible- Hell, what would that make me? Evil overlord of all the pain-bringing people?

Kinda has a nice ring to it :o

Just make friends, have fun, and distract yourself from all the negative stuff. Eat well! >:C you'll be feeling fine in no time :)
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That's redick!

lonewolf678's picture

Ah,

to be honest for some reason I knew your "happy" journal was a façade. But you need to be strong, and realize that "it gets better" after the break-up. You're free, do other things you might not have had the time for, do new things. I don't think you bring anyone pain, you're only fooling yourself into believing that.