I'm actually fucking happy.
My boyfriend and I have not broken up, we worked things out. We're making an effort on both of our parts to just work out on the issues that have been bothering us respectively.
I don't know, I just woke up one morning and I was sort of like...
Even if things don't work out, sooner or later I'll be with someone else, and he's just not the person for me. But if things work then it's going to be amazing and beautiful and everything I've been bitching about since I started writing here.
And I've stopped taking everything so seriously, and being as insecure as I used to be. For real.
Today for the first time in about 3 years I smiled for no reason while sober. That sounds pathetic but I'm sort of like, wow, what the fuck is wrong with me? And then it's like : nothing at all.
I've slept soundly all week. Hell, I even smiled last night before falling asleep - I can't remember the last time I'd gone to bed feeling good about myself.
I'm happy in a FOR REAL kind of way. Without the nagging feeling of : Oh, life's coming up to throw me a shitstorm now since I'm happy.
For the first time.