Mom And Dad, I'm Gay And Also Stronger Than Both Of You, So Don't Try Any Shit

jeff's picture

Mom, Dad, there's something we have to talk about. I've been wanting to tell you this for some time, and I want you to know that while I'm fully aware this might be difficult for you to hear, remember, I am still your son, and I love you very much: Mom, Dad, I'm gay, and so help me God, I am stronger than the both of you, and I won't hesitate to beat you back to the Stone Age if you give me any shit about this.

I know this must be tough for you. I understand this isn't how you expected your son to turn out, and I know you might be disappointed, but just remember that I go to the gym seven days a week and can bench-press 275 pounds easy. I take excellent care of my body, so while you can be upset, you better be careful and watch how you handle yourselves here, because if you so much as make a sarcastic remark or do anything to take advantage of how vulnerable I am right now, this will end ugly for the both of you.

Bottom line: I was born this way. It wasn't a choice. It was, however, a choice to develop huge biceps like this, so take a good long look at them before you think of uttering a hurtful or bigoted remark.

Read the full article here.

elph's picture

Pretty Sneaky

Huh?

Anyway... Great!

lonewolf678's picture

A very,

very clever coming out of sorts!

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

Sheer brilliance.

This is why I love you, Jeff, old boy.

* * *

"Reality is a story the mind tells itself. An artificial structure conjured into being by the calcium ion exchange of a million synaptic firings. A truth so strange it can only be lied into existence. And our mind can lie. Never doubt it..."

arata13's picture

This is bloddy brilliant!

This is bloddy brilliant! Thanks Jeff for making my day. ^^

PT's picture

Fuckin' parents...

Fuckin' parents...

Fantastic Rainbows's picture

Awesome.

Yea I have'nt officially come out to my family although I'm sure they know by now.I definetely get concerned with being so vulnerable and would be hurt badly by a bad reaction.I like your post,that's what I need some muscle to keep em in check! I feel compelled to tell them soon so I'm thinking about it a lot.This made me smile.Ty. J We all need some lovin' so why do we hate.