Roommates...

MacAvity's picture

So, room and roommate assignments for the dormitories came out today... And I got an email from one of my roommates... And said email opened with the greeting 'Hey girls'...

Eeep?

Not that I didn't know this was coming... And I have been nervous, et cetera... But now it's here, and I'm either going to do something really cowardly or really stupid or most likely some stupid failed attempt to not take the cowardly option, and mess everything up big-time.

In spite of all that, I'm only a little bit anxious...

My vague intention was simply to show up at the dormitory on move-in day, meet the two roommates, say 'Hi, I'm Avity, nice to meet you,' and semi-truthfully answer any questions about why I'm in a girls' room, using a few prepared semi-truthful answers. And hope that all goes well. Not the best plan, leaves all sorts of things that could go wrong, but still scary enough to make me doubt I could actually do it. But it remains the plan...

Even a long time ago - I don't even know how long - I wanted to be a girl living as a boy - like Viola in Twelfth Night. That was before I knew anything about gender identity. Now I've changed a bit, and my perception and knowledge and understanding have changed a bit, and now I want to be a gajindiak living as a boy. I've never had longterm fantasies of being a boy, just of living as one. I suppose it's a strange inclination, but it's the inclination I have, so I suppose I ought to follow it...

The first few days in the dormitory are gonna be scary as hell...

Comments

rythmn_n_rhyme_grrl's picture

Good luck! Which school are

Good luck! Which school are you going to be going to, can I ask?

MacAvity's picture

Well...

I don't want to reveal my location, and the school is in the same town where I've lived for most of my life. (So why am I going to live in the dorms when home is just two miles away? I don't know. My parents pressured me into it. They convinced me that it was a good idea, and then I forgot why....) So, since I've codenamed the town as Rivendell, I'll call the school 'CSU Rivendell.' It's one of the good California State University campuses.

rythmn_n_rhyme_grrl's picture

oops, sorry. /:( I forget

oops, sorry. /:( I forget sometimes that people want more anonymity than me.
ok, cool. I've just started looking at schools, I've really got to start aplications soon. I'm not even quite sure how to begin.