Tomorrow. What will it bring. Nothing. I may as well just sleep all day. Oh how i wish i could just fall into my duvet for the next so long hours and hibernate. But i cant as the sin of boredom beckons on me. So i get up, look at the sunlight and sink in my loneliness. I know it might only last a day, but i cant even be bothered to try and imagine that tomorrow may be pretty. I hope so but i doubt it.
This is the problem with having a small but equally intimate circle of friends. When the holidays approach and they all have long reasons for their disconnection from me, things get dim. I feel bitter for the near future and the cut of social presence is making me more and more cynical then i want. Today i went into town centre on my own which was fine. I have done it so many times i have lost count. But in my town the city centre is small and really the only thing exciting to do on your own is shop. I could walk but there is always some bully like gang hanging like sheep somewhere and things just get awkward. so i have just nothing to do.
Now if it was raining then the whole situation would be different. When it rains i have a right to stay in and watch films and laze around and i don't feel bad. But as it is summer it is mostly somewhat sunny ( not really hot just some good light) so i just have a big sense of guilt upon me as i lay chained to my laptop from the morning to 3 in the afternoon not doing anything really productive. Il probably get over this in next 24 hours but i needed to vent.