Yeah. Today I got a new learner's permit (the first one, which I got some time when I was sixteen, expired after one year, and then for maybe almost another year I didn't get another one, which is how I come to be eighteen and a half years old and have only the barest rudiments of driving ability) (this time I passed the written test with only one away from perfect, rather than one away from failing, like last time, though) (pardon the parentheses, I've forgotten where this sentence was before them... ah, okay, it was a short but complete sentence, so I'll end it as soon as I close this parenthesis, thus).
And then my mom took me to some big empty parking lot so I could practice with her car, which happens to be a 1998 manual-transmission Accord. And I had driven it twice before, each time driving only until I stalled it, or hit the gas instead of the brake, so I've never managed to stop that car the way it's supposed to be stopped. And still haven't. Blasted manual transmission. Must have stalled it scores of times in that parking lot today. And yes, I use 'scores' as a number. 'Cause it is a number, just like 'dozens.' A score is twenty.
Pretty much all the driving I've done in the past twoish years was in my dad's car, which has an automatic transmission and is therefore incalculably easier (but still terrifying on account of its being a huge moving machine and all). Said automatic-transition car, being my dad's, is only geographically available to me on certain weekends. Then I make all sorts of excuses and I-don't-want-tos, further lessening the already limited time I spend driving it. Which is why I got my first learner's permit twoish years ago and still don't trust myself driving on any trafficked road in any vehicle regardless of its transmission.
And then today, driving around in that parking lot was so stressful, almost traumatic. All stalling the car and depressing the clutch ('You have to depress the clutch!' my mom said. 'I haven't pressed the clutch!' 'You have to depress the clutch!' 'I haven't pressed the clutch! I can't de-press it if I haven't pressed it!') and screaming whenever anything unexpected happened, which it was always doing, for an hour. And then we went to lunch and I must have been in quite a state because my mom said I looked 'shellshocked.'
And then when we got home I basically went and lay in bed (alternating that with sitting in bed) for the rest of the day, while a headache developed. Mom says that maybe I'm getting sick, or maybe it's from the vaccinations I got last week, but I know it's just from the stress of that one hour of driving.
And maybe I'll get a driver's license someday, but progress is slow - slow and rough. Heheheh, I'll probably get a driver's license at the same time my four-years-younger brother gets one. We did both get our first cell phones within maybe two weeks of each other. Maybe we'll get our first girlfriends at the same time too. Maybe I'm just four years behind schedule on everything. Maybe he's two years behind schedule and I'm six years behind. Maybe I'm reading too much into a couple of stupid cell phones. Regardless.