Sometimes I feel like a failure. I just got a grade back from law and it was terrible. I have this gut wrenching feeling like I should not even be doing law. Like I will never ever find a good job, destined to filing stupid papers and a low salary. And I try and rationalise my way out out it. Like hey, at least I got into law school! Or hey at least my other grades are good. But fuck this really was a punch in the face.
And I know I can't blame anyone else except me. I party way too much. I drink way too much. I never go to class. I always leave assignments to the last minute. I was always hanging out with the boyfriend. Ah yes the boyfriend. And now he's in america. Fuck that shit. I've invested so much in that, and now what? Ah - look - I'm playing the blame game again already.
So, I have an essay to write for next week. Better start that now. But then it's rugby world cup opening ceremony tomorrow. I'll probably end up going. Looks like I'm destined to fail.