Failure

Uncertain's picture

Sometimes I feel like a failure. I just got a grade back from law and it was terrible. I have this gut wrenching feeling like I should not even be doing law. Like I will never ever find a good job, destined to filing stupid papers and a low salary. And I try and rationalise my way out out it. Like hey, at least I got into law school! Or hey at least my other grades are good. But fuck this really was a punch in the face.

And I know I can't blame anyone else except me. I party way too much. I drink way too much. I never go to class. I always leave assignments to the last minute. I was always hanging out with the boyfriend. Ah yes the boyfriend. And now he's in america. Fuck that shit. I've invested so much in that, and now what? Ah - look - I'm playing the blame game again already.

So, I have an essay to write for next week. Better start that now. But then it's rugby world cup opening ceremony tomorrow. I'll probably end up going. Looks like I'm destined to fail.

Comments

elph's picture

This shouldn't be happening...

You know what needs to done... so, why not just do it?

I think you could do well in many other fields.

Does Law truly "excite" you... or do you feel that you have committed too much already to risk changing course? (I'm not suggesting this would be a good idea!)

Talk it over with your faculty advisor...

Good luck!

Uncertain's picture

in a small country like new

in a small country like new zealand i feel that's kind of the only option i can take as a springboard for other things...

i mean i'm doing quite well under my arts degree - my gpa is almost perfect.

but fuck law is seriously screwing me over... it's not bad. just REALLY average. reallly really average. and i hate being average

elph's picture

No concern...

You're definitely not average... far beyond.

Just a little more self-discipline... and maybe a few (no... a lot) more "releases" to compensate for your now-distant bf should get everything back on an even keel :)

Persevere... and enjoy!

jeff's picture

Hmm...

Isn't failure moreso when you *try* to do well and it doesn't work out?

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"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)