Frustrated, Why couldn't i do it?

artsguy's picture

So it's the first week of school at my university, and there are a a bunch of activities every day to go to. I noticed there was a movie being played in one of the buildings and it was run by the gay club at my school. i really wanted to go and watch it and be a part of it...you know, meet some people who are bi like me or gay etc. So i left my residence and walked all the way there..but when i got to the front door i couldn't do it. I walked away and then tried again but something was pulling me back and i'm so frustrated with myself because i really wanted to do it.
I'm hoping i can go to another activity run by them another day. I'm still not too sure what's holding me back? I guess it might be the fact i'm not ready for everyone to know i'm bi? but i really don't know..

oh and to make things worse, as i was walking back to my room, i saw the girl that liked me and i liked..but then she told me she just wanted to be friends like over a month ago.
lets just say it was...awkward.

Comments

elph's picture

I fully understand...

...the difficulty you faced in taking that step.

It's not like it has happened only to you :(

whateversexual_llama's picture

don't worry! glbt centers at

don't worry! glbt centers at universities hold tons of events. I went to one with a straight friend of mine- allies and questioning people are welcome too. ^.^

625539's picture

I did the same at the LGBT

I did the same at the LGBT "club" at my school - never ended up going. Feels to much like a dating club for me anyways. ~

Uncertain's picture

And they call it

And they call it 'networking'

loreonpravus's picture

There's a queer club meeting

There's a queer club meeting next Monday at my school, which is the first ever day of classes. I really want to go, but so far I don't have anybody to go with and I'm really unsure if I'll find someone, so... going it alone. It's intimidating, going somewhere completely new by yourself.

jeff's picture

Hmm...

When I ran my gay student group at university, we'd often see people lurking about for a few weeks. Eventually, they'd come in... and we even had a thing where we'd meet a half hour early with new members, etc.

---
"Why be given a body if you have to keep it locked up in a case like a rare, rare fiddle?" - Katherine Mansfield

artsguy's picture

Thanks, and yeah..

..it's really good to hear i'm not the only one who can't right away do it. And it's also definitely intimidating going somewhere new on your own, especially because no one knows i'm bi..so i guess it might also be that if i go, i'm making it more of a public thing? I just wish it wasn't so hard and orientation didn't matter as much as it does...

jeff's picture

Well...

In this setting, orientation sounds like it matters more to you than them, seeing as you're rejecting a place where sexuality is celebrated, no?

---
"Why be given a body if you have to keep it locked up in a case like a rare, rare fiddle?" - Katherine Mansfield

artsguy's picture

yeah..

yeah thats true. It's not that i have anything against it though..i guess, i just need to be comfortable with the fact i'm bi and once that happens i'll be able to go to these events.