Going away to school

artsguy's picture

So this is my first Journal entry..and i just had the need to write one. Mostly because i had a sudden urge to write and talk about how tomorrow i leave home for University.
This is the first time in my life i'll be leaving home for a longer period than three days. So i'm pretty nervous but also unbelievably excited! The problem is, i don't really know how i'm going to fit in. But i know i shouldn't worry because once i get there..it'll all be great. I also think i'm just even more stressed because my mom is constantly packing and asking me stuff. Once i'm there i can just relax.

My other issue though is i really want to go to some meetings that deal with coming out, but i haven't told anyone yet that i think i'm bisexual. So i have no idea how i can 'sneak away' from my friends at school and go to these meetings. I'm just feeling overwhelmed with both the start of a new chapter and the need to almost hide who i am from all my friends and family. it's gotten to the point where i feel like i'm living two different lives. One with my friends and family..and the other inside my head. It's a real burden to my anxiety..and the last thing i want is more anxious attacks when i'm away at school.

I still can't believe that summer is over and i'm leaving tomorrow. I have no idea what to expect, but all i've been hearing is how awesome and fun it's going to be. I only hope, that within a month or two i can come out and really feel comfortable with myself. That way i can enjoy the school and all it has to offer without any worries that no one else knows but me.

I hope to write another Journal on here soon, about how my transition is going...and how i'm having a great time (fingers crossed)

Comments

thoughtgoddess's picture

I hope university goes well!

I hope university goes well! And I wouldn't worry too much about having to sneak away to go to any queer meetings, generally in post-secondary people tend not to care as much about that sort of thing. And you've also got a lot more freedom than high school allows, so disappearing for a couple hours probably won't even get noticed. I mean, obviously I don't know your specific situation or school, etc., but that's been my experience, and that of many people I know. Good luck!

artsguy's picture

Thanks!

Thanks! yeah i guess you're right..i think it's more just the fact i'm getting tired of not being open about it. But i'm sure in time, i'll be ready to tell people. It's definitely great though to hear they're more open about it at University.

crazypickle's picture

I hope that you love

I hope that you love college, as well!! I think that it is the best! I found that it is a lot easier to make friends at college, because there are so many different opportunities to meet a lot of new people. And you are all considered adults, so like thoughtgoddess said, no one will notice if you are gone for meetings. Good luck with your first day!!

artsguy's picture

thanks. Yeah...thats what i

thanks. Yeah...thats what i like about it too. The first day was interesting though, not what i'd imagine. I sort of thought the transition would have been better. I just am feeling kind of alone and not in the best of moods. But, i know it's only the first day so i should give it a few more chances. Thanks again for the well wishes! :D