So this is my first Journal entry..and i just had the need to write one. Mostly because i had a sudden urge to write and talk about how tomorrow i leave home for University.
This is the first time in my life i'll be leaving home for a longer period than three days. So i'm pretty nervous but also unbelievably excited! The problem is, i don't really know how i'm going to fit in. But i know i shouldn't worry because once i get there..it'll all be great. I also think i'm just even more stressed because my mom is constantly packing and asking me stuff. Once i'm there i can just relax.
My other issue though is i really want to go to some meetings that deal with coming out, but i haven't told anyone yet that i think i'm bisexual. So i have no idea how i can 'sneak away' from my friends at school and go to these meetings. I'm just feeling overwhelmed with both the start of a new chapter and the need to almost hide who i am from all my friends and family. it's gotten to the point where i feel like i'm living two different lives. One with my friends and family..and the other inside my head. It's a real burden to my anxiety..and the last thing i want is more anxious attacks when i'm away at school.
I still can't believe that summer is over and i'm leaving tomorrow. I have no idea what to expect, but all i've been hearing is how awesome and fun it's going to be. I only hope, that within a month or two i can come out and really feel comfortable with myself. That way i can enjoy the school and all it has to offer without any worries that no one else knows but me.
I hope to write another Journal on here soon, about how my transition is going...and how i'm having a great time (fingers crossed)