I talked to a therapist at the Student Health Center today about my gendershit. I gotta admit, I was super nervous to go, almost cried immediately upon entering the room, but then got myself together when I realized that she was super duper cool and totally got it and didn't have any expectations of me- y'know, all that stuff that they tell you therapists are like but I never believe?
So that was cool.
She asked me if I wanted hormones and I was like "yeah but I'm not ready" and we talked about a timeline and I was like "BUT WHAT IF I'M WRONG?!?" and she said "How do you feel when you go into a social situation and people think you're a girl?" and I said "stupid," and she said, "there you go."
I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEBODY TO SAY "WELL THERE YOU GO" ABOUT MY GENDER FOR A LONG TIME.
So anyway. Timeline. I'm going to talk to her every two weeks or so and then we'll re-assess hormones as an option at the start of spring semester. See if I'm saying "I'm not ready" or "I can't do this female bullshit anymore."
And then she called me a hipster and told me I was creepy for loving jellyfish (but in a joking way) and told me about queer spaces I could find and told me that looking for them isn't segregating myself and made of fun of me for being bad at sharing my feelings and told me about insurance and endocrinologists and was generally great.
and THEN I left and on the way back to the dorm I passed a Russian barber school giving haircuts for $5 so I got a haircut.