Oh. Hello. I'm sorry, I haven't really been on here at all ever lately; college is a crazy place. Busy busy busy. So life in a nutshell, and then I want to talk about yesterday.
Life in a nutshell is grand. I live here. My roommates are dope. I'm gaining friends steadily and my schoolwork is interesting (I've read, so far this semester, The Epic of Gilgamesh, the Tao Te Ching, the Dhammapada, and now I'm working on the Odyssey and The Art of War. Oh, liberal studies.), I FOUND THE QUEERS, I did a drag show (dressed as a cowboy), I'm working on poetry for the slam team's first slam this week, and the city is treating me fabulously.
So yeah. Things are good.
Last night was queer union (this queer activism group I joined; we're working on getting a clothing exchange day for trans* folks in the city, and then a protest at a blood drive about how men who sleep with men can't donate, and some other stuff)'s first party. Also my first party, y'know, ever. The president of queer union, who will henseforth be known as Jewface because that's how I'd describe her, is a person who I sooort of developed a crush on, mostly because I am perpetually turned on by people who're in charge. Also because her jew face is cute. So we'd been flirting at the QU meetings, and then she wrote on my wall that she'd bring "Pirates" (it's a porno) and if she did, would I dress as a pirate?
So of course I go out and buy a pirate hat.
I traveled with CM (masculineish-presenting female-pronouned philipino wonderful person), CD (mustache, curly sidebangs, sparkly fabulous eye makeup, suspenders, button downs, rings), Daphne (male-pronouned drag queen friends), Eric (my favorite queer straight boy, friends with my roommate), his friend M, and a bunch of other people... so that was fun...
When I got to the party, Jewface was already relatively drunk, but I popped the pirate hat on my head and walked over to her. She goes "hey baaaaybe" and I point to the pirate hat, and the sort of puts her hands on my waist and half-hugs half-dances on me. I stuck the pirate hat on her head and went off to find a beer.
I talked to some friends, caught up with some people, became tipsy, met some folks, told a few people that i wanted to be making out with Jewface. After finishing beer numero one (they were the big cans, don't judge me), I talked to her about the life cycle of jellyfish and how I ran into her mom the other day, and then she got distracted and went off and made out with someone.
At which point I became confused.
So I chilled for a while more, had a cigarette, got halfway through beer number two, and then saw that Jewface was rather unoccupied, so I went up to her and said "I'm confused." and she said "what?" and I said "am I still allowed to try to make out with you?" and she grinned all big and was like "yessss." and then we observed that the pirate hat was still being worn by many different people.
And then we both got pulled away by other people.
Later, I was loitering in a corner wearing the pirate hat and she was gonna walk by but she saw me so she slowed down, and I put my hand on her shoulder, and she looked up at me, and I put my hand on the back of her neck and she stepped over to me and then we kissed for a while. It was really fun. Like she's a really shy kisser, so it was fun to pull back and wait for her to like nuzzle up to me again. And we were both like trying really hard not to be handsy, and I FORGOT HOW FUN IT IS TO MAKE OUT with smaller people. Like she comes up to my nose and is really narrow and I love that. She was pressed up against my stomach and running her hands over my chest, not in a "boobgrope" way but in a "flat hand on a guy's chest way," and often when i'm packing I try not to hug people and it was really refreshing that she just had herself pressed up against me.
We kissed for a long time, and a lot of people went by and stole the pirate had and returned the pirate hat and CD kissed us both on the cheeks and a lot of people ruffled my hair.
and then she sort of pulled back and was like "okay, run along." and i was like "wuuut" and she was like "I gotta be social" and I was like "kay" and picked up my beer and went to sit on the couch.
And then some other girl tried to mack with me and totally chewed up my neck... oh WAIT that's what I forgot to to this morning, I need to see if that left a mark... okay yeah it did.
And then Jewface shouted across the room "WHAT THE FUCK ZEV?" which was extra funny because she was also making out with someone.
And... I dunno, stuff. Later I came up behind her as she was talking to somebody and Somebody was like "well what's going on here?" and I was like "well jewface here and I both have girlfriends but that's okay because they both said it's okay for us to make out." and Jewface looked very pleased by the fact that I knew this was just making out, and then we made out and she asked me about Emily and if I wanted to do hormones and a few other things, and then the party ended and I followed CD and a crapton of other people back to the train, fell asleep on the train, woke up to CD kissing my cheek and saying "this is your stop, darling, and remember that we live in a fucking police state; i've seen people get arrested for sleeping like that."
Stumble home to bed. Wake up. Write journal entry.
ALSO yesterday i had an amazing talk with my mother about gender stuff, and she basically gave me her blessing to pursue hormones/medical transition, which is amazing. Later she texted me "shop around for new glasses. i think a pair of men's glasses will help a lot."
I need coffee.