(There was supposed to be a picture here of me wearing a bowtie. But that didn't work. Alas. This journal just lost its entire purpose without that picture.)
(But now since I can't show you that photograph, which would have been the entire journal pretty much, I guess I have to actually write some stuff.)
Yeah, I got a bowtie. For Bow Tie Friday, which I think is a fantastic idea. I first heard of it from Zephyr, whose chemistry teacher seems to have started the idea, or at least been the first to bring it here. While I was at the thrift store finding a bowtie, I also ended up buying a vest (I've been wanting a vest for a long time, as I'm sure I've mentioned before - this one was too big, though, so I sort of improvised some alterations) and a fantastic leather jacket. I need to stop spending money, really I do. Send me off to college for a month and all my cash disappears.
Also yesterday (Thursday - I don't approve of midnight changing the whole 'today' versus 'yesterday' thing, nor, for that matter, do I approve of being awake after midnight, but that seems to be somewhat inescapable around here), I saw Solace for the first time in well over a year.... I had been wondering when that was going to happen, really - I knew he was a third-year at this same school, and the probability of never seeing him at all was very low. He didn't see me. He looks more normal than he used to. Last time I saw him, he was a red blur walking away after trying to tell me that it would be okay, that I was still young. Last time he saw me, I was crying my eyes out after telling his girlfriend that I loved her.
I wonder when I'll see her - she's here, too - and I wonder how I'll react.
It has occurred to me that I wouldn't even know if one of them had died in the past year.
I think I love him, too, in some weird way. Hating him only ever halfway worked.