Crush, philosophy, and asexuality

socialist's picture


Enough with the small talk. Anyway, remember that boy I mention in every journal except my last one (Mongolian Throat Singing)? Well, yes. Him again. I can't stop thinking about him. I always look at him in class; I can't stop. I've noticed him looking at me more than a few times, which make me wonder whether he really is heterosexual (I also never see him around girls; hmmm). We were watching a movie (one of my favorite documentaries, which I've already seen twice at home) today and I couldn't pay attention. I could only think of him in the corner of my eye. I also time when I leave class so I walk near him in the hall. That sound creepy. And yes, it is. I get very nervous around him.

Also, I found out that I'm a genderqueer, since I believe in Buddhism, which means I believe that only our bodies have genders and our actual spirits are eternal, genderless energy. I also noticed that I haven't had sexual thoughts in a long time, which is irrelevant, but I don't want to start a new paragraph for it.

I think that's all. If I want to add something, I'll do so in the form of a comment.

!مع السلامة


elph's picture

With that departing salutation (good Arabic!)

I hope you're not leaving!

socialist's picture

Not good Arabic

lonewolf678's picture


I got the translation of "Bye!". lol

elph's picture


..."with peace/safety" (ma'as salaamah).

A more formal (more religious) departing salutation would be بأمان الله "in the care of God." (bi amaan illaah).

jeff's picture


Not even writing about not wanting sex sounds like advanced asexuality. ;-)

"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (