lonewolf678's picture

I'm a bit tired as I write this. Normally I'm in bed and watching late night tv but tonight I'm up listening to Smoke Rings by: Glen Gray. I've been a little boring lately, and I've been needing to work on my one class and study. And I've been doing so. But my life has hit a boring point. I haven't been having much fun.

One of my new found friends decided to give me a ride to my place and play Wii. Aside from me raging at Mario Kart and then laughing at fail videos with "L" I realized I haven't had much fun in a while. Mainly because of my recent health problems and my course work. I just feel like hanging out with "T" (my best friend), and taking a bus.

We could just hang out downtown and check out the freak shows (as my Dad calls any person downtown). Man, I'd love to just have some fun. Although I suppose this is life I chose. This was the life that was preferred for me. I suppose growing up to lead a somewhat bland life and wearing a suit is what I wanted.

And I suppose I'm going to end up with that. I'm still torn between the business life, and the musical life. I'd love to be a musician but that's no way for me to make a living. I would like to be a businessman but I wouldn't be happy, however I wouldn't be depressed about it. I would just feel neutral about it I suppose.

I just wish there was a way to make a living while being happy. I'm sure this has plauged humankind since the beginning of time, finding the balance. I am satisfied with my circumstance at the moment, I don't want to be anywhere else. But I can't help but wonder about the near future. It's hard to explain it, but maybe whoever will read this may know.

Maybe it seems like I'm whining. Maybe I'm just scared, maybe I'm just confused about who I want to be in this life. I suppose I have time to figure this out though God willing. If you have any thoughts feel free to comment.


radiosilence95's picture

I completely understand

I completely understand being bored out of your mind. I haven't hung out with anyone outside of school in forever.

About your future job...if the idea of being a businessman doesn't make you happy, then why shoot for it? One thing I've learned from the adults in my life is that it's better to have a job you love with an average salary than a job you hate with a huge salary.

Surely your options aren't limited to just those two things. Maybe you should consider more career choices?