I have a boring life. I'm lonely. I came out to my (only) friend on Sunday. I didn't want to actually directly let her know, so I played a game. I gave her a few hints and let her guess. She got it right on the first try. I told her that she could tell her boyfriend. By the way, she isn't heterosexual. I found out that she's pansexual. Night is when I think the most and day is when I'm tired and don't really have any thoughts. Last night, I was incredibly happy and proud about being gay and not being the only one who knows it. So happy, I couldn't help but whisper it to myself multiple times.
I'm overwhelmed with homework. I have two AP classes. I don't really have time for friends or anything. The guy I like doesn't have free time, either. I know he's straight, anyway. There's a guy in my biology class. I know he's gay. I also know he likes me. I don't really have any thoughts on him.
I got pink marks on my hand at school today. I don't want to be stereotypical, but I kind of like that colour. It's the most important on the original queer flag. Anyway, the guy who did it thought it would be funny to say that I don't have two fathers and no mother, and chant butt sex, while I chanted no childhood (his childhood was ruined a few minutes earlier, when our teacher showed us that the Lion King was copied from a Japanese movie). I have heterosexual parents and he doesn't know I'm gay, but he's stupid. I have noticed people seem to avoid the word "gay" when they're around me, but I've also noticed signs that they think I'm straight. I try to avoid eye contact with strangers. It always becomes awkward, especially at lunch. In one of my classes, I had eye contact with a stranger and he made a sort of kissing gesture. I don't understand people here at all.
Also, tomorrow is wacky tacky day at my school. My sister helped me find an outfit. I'm going to where my huge Chinese hat (which the movers marked as "lampshade"), a tie, mismatching shoes, and my sister's pink scarf. I tried it on and the scarf made me feel like a cross-dresser, which felt weird. I don't want to be a cross-dresser.
Sorry about posting a journal so soon. I just had to get this out somewhere, and what better place than here?