The Flat-Chested Virgins of Room 104

MacAvity's picture

My roommates used to call the three of us 'the Flat-Chested Virgins of Room 104,' but after this weekend I'm going to be the only one left, because Zephyr has never actually been flat-chested and Leah went to visit her boyfriend this weekend with the understanding of not coming back as a virgin.

In my biology class, we raised butterflies, and I took two butterflies once they had pupated, and for days now the butterfly named Victoria has been trying to rape the butterfly named Rumpelstiltskin. Also, Rumpelstiltskin has laid eggs, and I have no idea what to do with them.

On Saturday I picked up two new species for my collection - a great horned owl and some sort of grebe. The owl is just beautiful. Specimens don't usually make me sad at all, but owls do, a little. Owls are too pretty to die.

Today, my mom and I started running, following some guidelines for people who really, really can't run, like us. We ran for one minute, then walked for two minutes, and repeated that cycle ten times. My brother, of course, thought we were pitiful, but that's because he actually can run. I don't know how it is that we can hike two hundred miles, or climb Kilimanjaro, but can't run, but that's the way we are.

Mainly, though, I wanted to write about the Civil War Ball. Oh yes.

The Civil War Ball was on Friday, but I haven't gotten a chance to write until now. Regi and her friends have been going to it twice a year for years, but this was my first time. And it was fantastic. Really, that's the way dances should be. There was actual dancing, not just, you know, throwing a bunch of people in a loud dark room and letting them mosh together. But we didn't have to actually know how to do the dances, because we were taught each dance just before dancing it, and the steps were called out. I think my favorite dance was the Virginia Reel. And I'll try not to babble on about the Civil War Ball and how much I enjoyed it, because otherwise I'll end up writing pages of babble that will be very boring to you.

I do have to mention, though, that everybody wore gloves and nice clothes - there was enough diversity in just how fancy or how period people's clothes were that nobody was an uncomfortable outlier, though - and I wish I could show you how I and my group looked, but the photo looked weird and scary when I blurred people's faces out for privacy. 'We match!!' Regi said when she saw what I was wearing. 'Your scarf is brown and my dress is brown - we should go as a couple!!!!!!!' Typical Regi, saying such freakazoidy things before her boyfriend shows up.

Regi's dress was this brown Victorian thing that was so very Victorian that Leaena wanted to give her some sort of cyborg-blasting gun and make Regi all steampunk, and use that for Hallowe'en, and then we had to explain what steampunk is.

So apparently Leaena likes dictating what other people are being for Hallowe'en, even though she's not entirely sure what she's going to be herself. And apparently she's not going to be a Dalek and parade me all around town with an ensemble of similarly-themed nerds on Monday night, so I don't know why I went to all the trouble of assembling the costume that she insisted I have. I am annoyed at this, and may even become angry if Hallowe'en is too much of a disappointment. All the way back in April, Leaena told me what I had to be for Hallowe'en, then left me to my own devices to make that happen, and I've done quite a bit of work making that happen, and they had all damn well better appreciate it and not just be like 'Oh, hey, Doctor, nice costume, I'm a zombie, and now we're just going to sit around the house and give out candy because it's Monday and we have school tomorrow.' I don't know what I'll do if that happens, but I will be highly displeased.

Anyway, the Civil War Ball was awesome, and I'll be sure to go from now on, because that's the way dances should be et cetera et cetera.

Comments

socialist's picture

In response to paragraph 4:

When my dad and I used to go to the gym (he won't take me anymore >_<), I did something better. I ran at about 6.5mph for the first mile without stopping, took a walking break at about 3mph for the next half mile, and ran another half mile without stopping. Then, I would just go between running and walking until 30 minutes was over and we left. I usually ended up going 3 miles.

---
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lJqnnIpP0o

elph's picture

This can't pass without...

...asking why! Is it that he doesn't ask you to join him, or he won't?

Walking 3mph is a good brisk pace!

For years (many years!) I'd fast walk 4 miles (a country section) every day in just under an hour... before sunrise... winter & summer! Since moving into town, it's now 2.25 miles/day + 30 minutes rowing!

MacAvity's picture

Well...

That sounds well and good for people who can run a little bit - my mom and I can't run at all. I collapse in a panting heap after a quarter of a mile, and she's even slightly worse. And it's weird because we're fit enough to hike the entire John Muir Trail, or Kilimanjaro, but we can't run worth anything.
And yeah, why won't your dad take you to the gym anymore?

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

I have nothing much to say...

But I wanted to let you know I read this in its entirety, for what little worth that may have. This is the first long journal I've actually read in about a year.

The Doctor costume... Funnily, I get called The Doctor in my normal clothing. A telling fact about my clothing.

I love owls... They're my favorite avian.

What is your icon?

* * *
It's high time,
Cymbaline;
Yes it's high time,
Cymbaline-
Please wake me.

MacAvity's picture

...

Well, thanks for reading, then. I appreciate it.
Which Doctor are you?

I love owls too. The first time I found an owl (this was my first great horned owl, but I've picked up two or three barn owls before) it was a long time before I could even bring myself to cut it, and that never happens with other animals.

My icon is an image that I made by combining all the letters of my name (MacAvity) into one symbol. The M and the A and the ac are the ones that are easy to see.

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

You're welcome.

I'm the eleventh. Bowties, tweed, and suspenders... I wore those before he even existed!

What do you do that you cut them? I'm sorry that I haven't actually read your other journals... Taxidermy?

And I suspected as much, but I wanted confirmation. Fascinating. I like it.

* * *
It's high time,
Cymbaline;
Yes it's high time,
Cymbaline-
Please wake me.

MacAvity's picture

Nice

I like Eleven. I'm Ten, even though he's not my favorite - my friends saw some faint similarities, and I enjoyed amusing them by seeming ever more like him. If they give me a chance, I'm going to be magnificent on Hallowe'en.

Yeah, I wish I knew how to do actual taxidermy... I try to preserve as much of the beauty of the animal as I can, but without any training there's only so much I can do. With all dead animals that I find, my main goal is to get the skull - I have a pretty big collection of skulls now, maybe thirty to forty species and somewhere around sixty individuals. If the specimen is fairly fresh when I find it, I'll take the skin too. With larger birds, I take the whole wings off and dry them with the bones and flesh still in - one pair of barn owl wings made an absolutely beautiful wall hanging, and I have similar hopes for the wings of this new owl.

Here's a photo of my two barn owl skulls:

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

Beautiful specimens, I think

I have most of Eleven's mannerisms, as well, oddly enough, when I get excitable; and when I'm really excited my voice's pitch fluctuates like Ten's.

If I lived in a place where I could do so, I would probably have the same hobby as you. What other sorts of skulls have you? Just avians, or do you have mammals as well? Do you skin mammals as well?

* * *
It's high time,
Cymbaline;
Yes it's high time,
Cymbaline-
Please wake me.

MacAvity's picture

?

Why can't you?
Let's see how many of my skull species I can list....
Mammals: Mule deer (2), California sea lion, domestic pig, some sort of seal, coyote, porcupine, raccoon (2), gray fox, opossum (3), cottontail rabbit, gray squirrel, feral cat, gophers (many), mice (several), voles (several), rats (several), domestic horse, zebra, wildebeest, dik-dik.
Birds: Brown pelican, barn owl (2), some sort of goose, fulmar, some sort of eagle or hawk thing, kingfisher (probably), black phoebe, California quail, sparrow, something that might be a murrelet, acorn woodpecker, probably others that I'm not remembering....
Fish: Seven individuals representing at least three species, but I have no idea what they are.
Reptiles: Gopher snakes (2)

I only have the skins of a few of them, like the coyote, the fox, the snakes, the pelican, the quail, a squirrel whose skull was smashed, and probably a few others I'm not remembering....

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

...

I live in a suburb where animals do not often turn up. I could, I suppose, go hunting, but I find myself somewhat disturbed by the idea of taking life away from an animal myself.

That is an impressive collection. Where do you store them?

* * *
It's high time,
Cymbaline;
Yes it's high time,
Cymbaline-
Please wake me.

MacAvity's picture

Huh

I've found a lot of mine in a suburb - must be a very different sort of suburb, since mine has a lot of open space around it as well as other suburbs, so there are a lot of animals and a lot of cars, so a lot of animals end up dead. And I find a lot when I leave town, too - surely you don't spend all your time in the same suburb?

I store (display, really, would be a better word) them at my dad's house - we've put up some shelves above my desk for my skulls, although the shelves are getting very crowded. The wildebeest is hanging on the wall above the shelves, and the two equines are on the desk itself, because they're too wide to put on shelves. Because it's so crowded, I only keep the best specimen of each species there, and I have one more shelf in my room at my mom's house where I display the few extras.

I agree, though - I couldn't kill an animal. Squishing spiders with a shoe is about as far as I go - I found it hard even to gas a butterfly to death for my Entomology class last week. For me, collecting dead things is about trying to preserve some of the beauty of an animal, and everything is more beautiful when it's alive.

socialist's picture

I believe in the teachings

I believe in the teachings of the Buddha, so I don't kill anything. I like to watch and feel flies crawling on me. There is a tiny (1mm, maybe) crawling bug in a bathroom I use, but I leave it alone. I just let them know that it should move (brush it away) when it's on the toilet paper or sink or something. It's never hurt.

---
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lJqnnIpP0o

elph's picture

Makes sense to me...

Buddhism instructs one on how to be a better person today! What comes after is of no consequence...