I've just booked my flights to the Philippines and Taiwan over the summer break.
Some of you may know this already, but I'll be in the Philippines over new years for a debating tournament, then I'll visit my parents in Taiwan.
Oh my God, I have not seen them in so long. Nor have I made much mention of them in my journals. It has been almost two years since I saw them. The last time I saw my dad was at my high school graduation, he flew over. Yes, I know I'm a grown boy now, and you tend to see your parents less and less... But two years? And they're technologically retarded and don't know how to operate Skype so I only talk to them over the phone.
But holy crap two years right, and I haven't even thought about it until now. I mean, even when I was younger every time I saw them they age so visibly and it scares me. I really don't know what else to say about them. Maybe just how I never think I knew them? And how they never knew me and still don't know me.
I hope they remarry. Especially my mother. She sounds so lonely sometimes over the phone, this middle aged woman complaining to a son she stopped living with since he was ten. I don't know where my concern comes from, if it is filial love or simple compassion. Oh man I don't know if I can stand seeing them, this is going to be so weird.
Re life in general:
My exams are almost over. I have finished my philosophy and two law exams, and I have two politics ones left. One of them is on global governance, and the other one is on rights and drugs and all that sort of stuff. I suddenly have this urge to share my work on here, so if people are interested I can post my essays. I know elph you will be interested, but it might interest you swimmerguy as well.
I just feel like getting drunk you know? I'm still recovering from my breakup. My friends have been really supportive, and I feel so much more free now. I remember the good things but now also the bad. I remember how he would disapprove of the partying, drinking and just things I enjoy like debating and intellectualising. Not even the german play I was in, he got so bored when I asked to practise with him. And slowly I've adapted to it without knowing.
But now I've regained my confidence, I've started going out again, doing things I love again, meeting new people and trying new things. I am going to learn hebrew with my friend. I also tried speed for the first time the other day, it was alright. I am going overseas.
But sometimes you miss just having that someone you know. Oh man, But I'm not sure how long it'll take before I can open up to someone like that again. I actually thought he was the one.
That's it, signing off now. Good night all. I hope I won't regret this decision to open up a bit more.