Hi everybody! My name is Osvaldo, i'm 18 years old and i'm from Mexico. First of all, i wanna apologize for my weird english. I did never really study english but i love it and i learned it by listening to music and watching series, so if you find any mistakes, please tell me about it.
I don't really know how i found this page but i'm happy i did it. I have the biggest problem i have ever had in my life. So, let me talk about it.
I'm in high school. In Mexico we have to do social service when we're in high school at a "government institution" and well, i decided to go to the nearest place of my house. That's when i met the boy i cannot get out of my mind. The place needed 15 students from my school and he was part of those 15. I have to admit i had never seen him before and when i first saw him in this place i didn't even pay attention to him. He is not exactly the kind of guy that everyone falls in love with. Okay, so as i said before i did not like him at all, i wasn't even happy to get to know him better. But we were together almost 5 hours a day and well, i just fell in love. I did not even notice how i fell in love with him. He's just got something i cannot resist.
When i fall in love, i usually build walls up around me because i'm most of the time attracted to heterosexual guys and well, i just thought he was hetero too. After some time, a friend of mine from this service asked me:
Hey Osvaldo. I wanted to ask you something. Is Jose gay?
I started laughing because well, i just never thought he was gonna ask that. So i told him: I don't know. I said: Why exactly are you asking me this? The he said: I don't know. I just think he likes you. He always does the things you want him to do. That's when i finally realised that he was just so special and different with me. You know what i mean? He's always listened to me like anybody else, he is just always paying attention to what i do, and to what i say. Then when we finished this social service, i found out that he and i were gonna have a class together. I was so excited and i started to watch him and to get some clues and yes, i found like hundred reasons to think he is gay.
Let me tell you some of them:
1. He is ALWAYS with me in this class. Once, a friend of him came to us and told him: Jose, you are falling in love. He did not say anything. Then that friend left us alone and i asked him: Why did he tell you? He said: He says i'm falling in love with you. He was just TOO serious and quiet. I did not know what to say and i turned around.
2. He listens to me all the time and he actually remembers things about me that i can even forget.
3. A friend of mine told me that his mates think he is gay because when they went to a party together some whores started to dance in front of him and he did not do anything. He was just watching them like: What am i supposed to do?
4. He has actually always talked about his "girlfriends", the funny thing is that well, i never wanted to talk about that topic but we were all alone once and i was just curious and i said: Can you tell me something more about your girlfriends? He said: What do you wanna know? I don't know, what are their names? I responded. He told me: I don't remember. I started laughing and told him: How can't you remember the name of your girlfriends? You told me you had been with them both for like 3 o 4 years. Seeing that i was putting him in a bad situation, he changed the topic and started to talk about RANDOM things, he couldn't stop. He was like: Look! I love my pencil. And those kind of stupid things. He did that for 30 minutes, i couldn't say a word.
5. I wanted to know what kind of music he was into so i took his cellphone and i saw he had gay music (Girls singers) and when i gave his cellphone back everybody was around there and i said: Hey, i love your music. You have one of my favorite songs, Lipstick by Elise Estrada. He said: Oh, i don't know what you are talking about. It could be one of those songs that my sister downloaded and i just put it on my cellphone.
6. My best friend (hetero boy) is with us most of the time. The 3 of us went to a party together once and then this friend told me: Why are you gay? I told him: I don't know, i guess i was just born this way. Then Jose said: Of course not. I told him: We aren't talking to you. He said: You weren't born gay, something may had happened to you. How can you even be that sure about it? I asked him. Then he was like: Just because.
7. Our boss (from social service) invited us to a trip with his friends, he told us he was gonna pay the bus so we said yes. Everything was perfect but when we were coming home, a girl started to get naked on the bus and ALL of the boys were right there watching her. I have to admit she was hot. The thing is that neither him or me were watching her. We were just on our sits with other girls.
8. I told him that i like him on a text message when we were on vacation. When we came back to school, everything was the same thing. So, i got really happy. The thing is that a friend (girl) of mine is also in love with him but when she told him about that, he talked to her and told her that well, they could only be friends. And i'm like so OBSSESED with this because he talked to her, and he has never talked about this with me. And i have actually tried to tell him face to face but he just RUNS AWAY.
I also have a few reasons to think he ain't gay but i guess they just mean nothing, for example: He works on a mechanical workshop (he does not like it btw) and sometimes when everybody is around he says things like: Omg, that girl is truly hot. She is beautiful (i have never believed in those words) and he is in an all-boys classroom.
I have many more reasons but those ones are enough. I really hope you can tell me guys. Don't tell me: Ask him. Because i know him by heart and i know he isn't gonna tell me anything. He is just so into his own world and he does not want to trust anybody. This week he has been even closer to me and i really love it. His b-day was on monday and i gave him a letter but his brothers and he always share everything so i told him: You must read it and then throw it away. He said: No, no. I have my wallet. Then i said: No, they could see it. He again told me: That's why i have my wallet. In the letter i wrote all the things i love about him. Next day he came to me and he opened the wallet to put some money inside and i saw the letter right there. And don't get me wrong, i love spending time with him and i'm not in a hurry, i can wait. But i wanna hear what you have to say.
Is he in love with me?
Have you ever had any experience like this one?
:) Grettings from Mexico friends.