The boy that left, and the new one

Uncertain's picture

Ever had a song that just describes how you feel even though you know it's just a stupid fucking song?

Mine right now is the one that got away.

Now please excuse me while I proceed and quote meaningless lyrics from a pop song.

In another life, I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
And in another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away, the one that got away

But I didn't make him stay even though he was going to, for me. I made him take the scholarship, by doing the right thing. I told him I will never forget him even if we were not together. So here I am, I haven't forgotten about him, even though I have slowly, and I'm scared. How could such strong emotions just slowly fade away.

I don't like him In that way anymore, but I'm just reminiscing, trying to cling onto my ability to love before I descend down into that path of selfish hedonism again.

-----

Josh texted me today. I want to post the texts, but because journals aren't protected by search I'm not going to. I think he's just being nice. Oh wait, I forgot... He has a boyfriend! What am I thinking. Even if something were to happen I would never go for someone taken.

He is cute though.

Comments

elph's picture

I suspect that the open access...

...to journals does have an inhibiting effect. The main controls of privacy one has lie in the user name and the user's profile page (not viewable by non-members).

Were it otherwise... many potential "Oasies"* would never come to know what a great group we have here... albeit with relatively few members active at any one time... but ones who are unusually open, intelligent, and so much more civil than those on somewhat similar sites.

Hopefully, the invitation to speak freely and openly will not be lost in the promised new iteration of Oasis.

I've not thought it through clearly... but I wonder if there might be some value in having all new postings (journals, forums, comments, etc.) available immediately only to logged-in members --- and available to all, say 24 or 48 hours later! This would discourage spammers --- realizing that their posts could not be indexed by search engines. And... if a posting is meant to be shared only with other members, it could be deleted before the time has passed for public access! I'm confident that this idea can be improved upon...

Anyway... I'm sure that it is our loss that we're unable to read Josh's text to you. (I know this only from your having expressed the wish that posting it would have been possible without risk.)

*term is property of swimmerguy