Confused About Sexuality

VampireAtHeart's picture

Well, I'm new here on Oasis and this is my first time posting on the forums. So, I'm just a confused person right now about my sexuality. Also, I'm not good at explaining situations so this might end up confusing. Anyways... since I was about 10 years old, I noticed that I began thinking about girls more often than guys relationship wise. I grew up in a place not very accepting of things like this so I tried to block feelings like that out. Of course, it didn't work all of the time. There were times I would get crushes on girls and want to be in a relationship with them, but felt that it would never happen.
Now, I'm 16 years old and a junior in high school. A few months ago, I decided I didn't want to hide all of this from myself anymore so I started thinking about it. The more I thought about it the more confused I got. I know I am attracted to guys. There are only two guys that I have dated though. I'm not sure on my attraction of girls though. I'm not sure if it really is there or my own curiosity. When I see a girl I find attractive, personality and looks, I find myself wanting a relationship with them. Just holding hands, kissing, and stuff like that.
So, I'm just confused on whether I'm straight or possibly bisexual. I've never been in a relationship with a girl though I do admit that I might possibly try that one day. I just don't know if I'm just curious about what it would be like or if I really do feel this way. When I admitted to my best guy friend about this stuff(he is bisexual), he said it does sound more like I'm bi than curiosity, but I'm still confused. Can anyone give me some advice?

Just Dave's picture


You should probably just continue to explore this aspect of your sexuality with an open mind. If it turns out that you are bi, than that's great. If it turns out that you are straight, then you'll be more assured of your sexuality.

If you need a label to tell people (bi-curious, straight, ect.), just tell people you're questioning. You don't have be sure of your sexuality, especially when you're a teenager. It's fine to admit you don't know.

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

Sadly, as we must always tell someone who asks this question...

Only thou art able to identify thy sexuality. We cannot identify it for thee. However, if you'd like me to opine on the subject, I'd say that you would be best off, as Dave above mentioned, simply exploring the idea. There is no rush to identify thy sexuality. As many people could tell you, my sexual identity has changed many times over the years. I currently am settled comfortably in the asexual category.

Sexuality is rather fluid, and if it's not fluid it's rather difficult to get a grasp on fully, in my opinion. So don't worry too much about it. All will become clear in time. I know that's not the answer you'd want, but it is something.

Welcome to Oasis. I hope you enjoy your stay.

* * *
The father now gallops, with terror half wild,
He holds in his arms the shuddering child;
He reaches his farmstead with toil and dread,—
The child in his arms lies motionless, dead.

AtotheJ's picture

id say you should explore

id say you should explore you sexuality till your happy with it but i think your bisexual but still id explore it if i were you

and welcome to oasis :D

LucyInTheSky's picture

Kind of similar predicament

Hi! Im new here too just signed up actually bc of your comment :) Im 22 and have been saying i am bi for about two years now, but have only come out to my closest friends or people who relate. I am in a relationship with a wonderful man right now and we have been together for four years.
I think i knew back in middle school when i had my first real girlcrush but i never accepted it until junior year of hs. I fell for this awesome chick in my child development class. We hit it off and hung out alot then finally told each other how we felt..sadly it only lasted a short time and she told me she just couldnt do it bc it would be too weird. We have stayed in contact off and on and about a year or so ago I found out via facebook she was completely out in the open lesbian. I was crushed...even though i was in this awesome relationship something urged me to go see her and I spent a day with her, with out approval of my bf and w/o really telling him the whole truth....anyway long story short we didnt do anything bc i refuse to cheat but it was very tempting. Since then I have realized how much she really impacted me. I know now that she is "my one who got away" dilemma is and i are going thru a bit of a rough patch and i cant stop thinking about other women. I am beginning to question whether i am full on Lez or really just unhappy in my current relationship. Bf and i are working on things and being really honest with each other to try to get past this hump...but im afraid that if the real prob is that im lez and dont realize or just havent accepted it yet then we may work things out but end up hurting each other way worse down the road....and i def dont want to bring kids into it if it doesnt make it....ugh i feel so lost right entire life i have pictured myself settling down with a man growing old and raising kids being grandma and grandpa....its hard to visualize my life with a woman....but right now i can totally see myself with a girl, i just see it more as a fling.....sorry i cant really give you advice right now but i can relate somewhat...I think i would advise you to explore..but in my circumstance i wonder if it was the right thing to do for me ....