Though i think we need to stop considering Christmas a christian holiday. We take a tree, make it sparkly, and shove it up an angel's ass. How christian is that?
Also, I always thought i loved this holiday because i got presents, but now i realize how great it is to GIVE presents. It's a great way of dropping a hint to the people you spend your life with in a room full of people you may want to refer to later in court as "witnesses". After all, nothing says "I'm not attracted to your fat ass anymore" like a Subway gift card!
All these factors play in to make this my favorite time of year. People are smiling, children are singing, and that creepy old man across the road is standing outside in the cold all day ringing a bell and asking for money that i'll never give him or anyone he represents because he ran over my bike when i was ten years old.
Just goes to show that life is perfectly just.
And despite all this happiness i feel by CHRIST-mas. I assure you all in the form of my final statement...
I swear to god i'm an atheist.