So hey! I haven't been on in what feels like forever. Life's been pretty rough and a lot have things in my life have changed so writing about them probably would have helped, but I have a bad habit of keeping things balled up. But anyway, life's better. It would take me forever to explain it all but a short recap would be...I switched riding barns 3 times in the last 9 months, the last time leaving all my friends and trainer, my parent's fighting has gotten progressively worse, I am pretty sure I'm depressed, I started cutting again, I've lost a lot of friends, kind of made new ones and lost them, had my heart broken, repaired, and broken multiple times...and it keeps going. And this is just the short version. (Keep in mind I'm not saying 'pity me,' I'm just trying to recap my last year of hell.)
But recently it's been better. My relationship with my parent's has been better, I've stopped cutting, I'm trying to repair and make new friendships, I'm not so depressed, and I've realized who my real and closest friends are. Everything's getting better except for one thing. My mom is now pressuring me to come out to my dad. I'm not afraid he will disown me, I just really don't know how he will react. His whole half of the family is REALLY homophobic and I'm not sure how much of that he picked up. I've been avoiding it and disregarding my mom's claims, but now there is a time limit. If I don't tell him soon she will. I really don't want it to go down that way but I really don't want to tell him. So I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. Do you guys have any suggestions on what I should do?