meanwhile, in the real world

whateversexual_llama's picture

I feel like every time I talk about college it's about boozing and sexing. And occasionally chemistry. So, let's talk about the other classes I'm in. For example, today I have drafted two essays: "A Contextualized Overview of the Gospel of Matthew" and "A Cosmopolitan Sandwich with a Side of Hegel." Both of these are working titles but goddamn if they're not starting to grow on me.

"drafted" is of course a relative term. The concluding paragraph of the Cosmopolitanism essay is "FUCK THIS." Literally. And the Matthew essay is an outline, a collection of quotes, and a little too much enthusiasm. Should be words by bedtime.

Those pieces are for my Social Foundations and Writing classes. Writing is a blast. I got my very first college A from my writing teacher on a portfolio of two essays, one of which I was damn proud of. Professor Writing is sort of my hero. I love him. He's tall and statuesque and gorgeous, soft-spoken and sassy. I legit grow as a writer every time I sit down in his class. His comment on my portfolio started out "You have a strong sense of the language and structure and create reflective inquiries that offer intriguing insights." Be still my dick.

There's been so much homework in the past few days. SO MUCH. But I don't mind, really. I live in a place and go to school. I like that.


Okay, I'm over the real world, back to my little bubble of whining. I wrote a great post here the other day called "player is going to play" that got deleted... it was about the ways in which I pinball in love, how bad I feel, how I hate that I'm the kind of person who plays people. How I never realized that the player had a shit ton of feelings, had love and desire and loneliness and wasn't just some cartoon of "boys only want one thing."

Which bring us to... Emily and I. We're... pretty much over. It doesn't hurt like I thought it would. I'm going to her school this weekend and we'll make it official.

MEANWHILE, MY SLUTTY ALTER-EGO is still waiting for Elliot to text. Has a coffee (friend?)date tomorrow afternoon and a dinner (friend?)date tomorrow night.

I figured the best solution to the heartache and confusion and stress would be to buy a most triumphant hat rack. I did. It makes my dorm fantastic.



I'm bored. And I just remembered something that's been pissing me off a lot. In my classes, there aren't that many other guys. In CF, there's about 20 kids and, including me, 5 boys. In SF, there's 12 kids and one boy who isn't me.

And it seems like every day, somebody is saying "oh well I know there are only four boys in this class" or "ladies and gentleMAN," and it makes me so sad. I hate that it makes me sad.

"I am not an angry girl
but it seems like I've got everyone fooled
every time I say something they find hard to hear
they chalk it up to my anger
and never to their own fear"
~Ani Difranco


loreonpravus's picture

What's your major? Or, what

What's your major? Or, what are you looking to major in?

Sorry about Emily. It's good that you're not too torn up about it, though.

whateversexual_llama's picture

i'm in a liberal studies

i'm in a liberal studies program now but I'm planning on switching to biology next year.

...i sort of wish I was more torn up...

loreonpravus's picture

Angst for the sake of angst?

Angst for the sake of angst? : P Why, though? Just for romantic's sake or because you want to feel something strongly?

radiosilence95's picture

Essays. I love writing them,

Essays. I love writing them, way more than the normal student should. College that's a healthy challenge, though I've already written some in my AP classes. But yes, essays are fun.

I would say I'm sorry about you and Emily, but it seems like it's for the best, a kinda sorta good thing. Not horrible, but not wonderful either. It seems...necessary. Yeah. That's the word I'm looking for.