NEVER dissolve big pills in Dr. Pepper.

Super Duck's picture

Seriously, don't. It is the worst taste EVER. I can't swallow a whole generic brand Allegra, and I didn't have a knife to cut it, so I dissolved it and YUCK! This post starts out pretty serious, and then it just kind of... devolves. Hahaha.

We changed the locks yesterday, so now Granny can't get in here. It's so hard to relax. I mean, I've always had a bit of a paranoid personality, but I don't feel safe anywhere. Every noise is Granny coming to get me. My mom came to my school today and told the administration what happened, so they will kick her off the school grounds if she ever shows up there... She also told the elementary school to never let Granny pick my sister up after school. Coming home from school today, I passed my grandpa in his truck with what appeared to be Granny in the front seat. I can only hope he was taking her to the mental health hospital where she belongs.

She WILL hurt me if she gets the chance. When we had the confrontation on Saturday, she kept saying that I was like my mother. (Granny absolutely despises my mother, to make a long story short.) I don't think my mom and I are very alike at all, but there are two key similarities that put me in danger. For one, neither of us will take Granny's bullshit. The second similarity is how we look. We both have the green eyes and the long, dark hair. But even worse, I look almost EXACTLY like my mother when she was younger. Seriously, in old pictures of her from her teenage years until her early twenties, the only major difference between us is that she has/had even darker hair than me. Several people, my mother included, have said that this could be bad because in a fit of insanity, Granny may possibly mistake me for my mom. This is especially bad because she has been threatening and violent to my mom in the past.

I mean, I know literally my entire family is just fucked up to the max, but I've never been scared like this before. I told my mom last night that if they don't put Granny away, I want to go ahead and move to Tennessee next year with her instead of waiting to finish high school like I had originally planned. Actually, wait, I no longer have a choice unless my dad marries his girlfriend and moves into her house. I'm not staying in my grandparents' guest house with him, where Granny can get me at any time.

In other news, this week is total assflakes. Stupid semester exams. Also, Mrs. English Teacher, I love you, but mixing actual history in with the things we read (and putting said history on the exam!) is greatly irritating. That is all.

And you know what makes me mad? It really pisses me off when teachers act like it's a bad thing to have an 80-something in their class. The English teacher doesn't do that, but a few of my others do. My pre-cal teacher treats me like a drooling idiot because I have an 87. An 87 is a solid B, bitch. There is NOTHING wrong with an 87.

On the bright side, I finally won a chess game. Several of my friends learned how to play and just fell in love with it and forced me to learn too. I suck soooo much, but I actually beat someone today!

Anyway, my mind was completely and utterly blown a moment ago. When I was little, maybe about 5, I went through this phase where I always watched this show about a turtle named Franklin. I'm sure people around my age or a little younger will remember it, since I believe it continued on for a couple years after my phase. I LOVED that damn show. There was Franklin, and some bear, and a fox or something, and a beaver. There were a bunch of other animals too, but guess who voiced the beaver? Leah Renee Cudmore. And just guess who she grew up to be? Bunny Alice, the ADORABLE closet lesbian Playboy Bunny in The Playboy Club. (I still mourn the loss of The Playboy Club... It's Monday night, okay? I'm allowed to be sad!)

...Someone is going to make a terrible joke about this chick voicing a cartoon beaver and then later playing a lesbian Playboy Bunny character, so I'm just gonna go ahead and acknowledge it.

Anyway, yeah, she is adorable, and in The Playboy Club, her character had a crush on Amber Heard's character. It was every bit as perfect as it sounds. Or, well, it COULD have been, had the show not been canceled so soon. I wish I could just make a movie starring her and Amber! Hahaha! Except it would only ever actually happen in my imagination, because I have no idea how to even make a movie. What am I thinking? Super Ducks can't make real movies, only brain-movies.

Yeah, this is what I do in my spare time. Exams? What exams? Christmas shopping? What? I have no responsibilities except to make this glorious brain-movie. Mmmm...

Wait, what? Was I talking about something important? No? Okay.

You guys probably think I am the weirdest person ever. Sorry. <3 Thanks for putting up with me and all, but trust me, you do not even know the half of it. Hahaha. Would you guys still like me if I told you all about how I obsessively check ALL of my silverware for specks of dried food several times over? And that I have a Wizard of Oz collection? And that sometimes I like to turn my music in my car to something loud and dramatic and pretend the cars behind me are zombies chasing me? Because that is only the tip of the iceberg of all the weird shit I do. Hahahaha.


Splash's picture

All my best friends are weird.

Trust me. You're fine.

A B is a perfectly good grade. Almost no one in the grade-centric environment of high school understands this. (Or, they don't if you're me and got put in the "high achiever" group before you even knew what that would come to mean.)

I'm sorry about your granny being crazy-i.e.-dangerous-to-you. This sounds not fun, at best. (However, being me, I'm of the opinion that moving and changing schools might be good for you. You clearly hate yours.)

I think I remember the existence of Franklin the turtle, but I never watched the show.

~~~ the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses ~ e e cummings ~~~

Super Duck's picture

Yeah, all of my friends are

Yeah, all of my friends are "high achievers" too. We switched from this weird grading scale to the 10-point one this year, and they all bitch if they get a 90, even though that's an A now. I mean, I don't like to see a low 80-something, but it's not the end of the world, and I am totally content with an 85+. My friends used to call me dumb because I made an 83 in chemistry last year and in geometry in 9th grade. I mean, that was a high C back then, but come on!

I think it would be great to go ahead and move. I really and truly do hate it here. :(

I think there were books too, not just a show?

godforbidlaura's picture

Can picture the characters

Can picture the characters can't remember the show. 87
is a great grade.. I passed my last highschool math class which was geometry with a 62% I'm not an idiot I just hate geometry and things that don't make sense to me (like math and geometry). However I get good grade in college math classes (even after I got to college level which took me a few semesters). And the zombie thing is awesome... I make lots of 'head movies' but fuck yeah outrunning zombies in the car! (don't get too carried away and end up in a high speed chase, imagine trying to explain that one "I wasn't doing anything wrong, I just thought the cop was a zombie trying to get me.... I AM NOT ON DRUGS!!!! they might not be locking Granny up at that point;)~)

There is a principle which is a bar to all information which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance- that principle is contempt prior to investigation- Herbert Spencer

Super Duck's picture

GEOMETRY! I sucked so badly

GEOMETRY! I sucked so badly at geometry. I took it my 9th grade year and I can't remember a thing.

Don't worry, I never do high speed zombie chases. Haha. These zombies don't run, they walk!

MacAvity's picture


And I thought my grandmother was crazy.

I remember Franklin the turtle... sort of. I remember he was riding a bicycle and wearing a helmet - sure, it set a good example for the human audience, but really, the kid was a turtle, if he fell off his bike he could just pull his whole head into his shell and protect it better than any helmet could.

I like your brain movies. And the zombie thing. A lot.

Super Duck's picture

Haha, I know, right? But of

Haha, I know, right? But of course, I never came to that conclusion at age 5. My thought process was more along the lines of, "CUTE ANIMAL CARTOON YAY!"

Thank you! They are pretty spectacular.

cheese's picture


hey superduck, i love your personality.
and honestly if you lived closer i'd totally consider dating you :D lmfao.
dont worry, im not a stalker....O_O;
haha <3 you're adorable
and i hope everything goes well with the whole granny thing. at least you have the guts to stand up to her. if it were me, i wouldve stood there and took it. because i too am paranoid, and i'd freak out over what would happen if i said anything wrong. and also, i tend to be passive. :o

"So can you tell me what's left when everything you care for carries on, when broken dreams are built to make you strong. When the memories of yesterday fall through these broken dreams are built to help you through." ~Authority Zero

Super Duck's picture

Haha, aww thank you! I'm

Haha, aww thank you!

I'm normally pretty passive, but I just was not going to have this crazy old woman yelling at me like that and calling me those names after she had been asked to leave!

funnyflyby's picture


'I obsessively check ALL of my silverware for specks of dried food several times over? And that I have a Wizard of Oz collection? And that sometimes I like to turn my music in my car to something loud and dramatic and pretend the cars behind me are zombies chasing me?'

I honestly do all three of these. Especially the first- our dishwasher sucks, so I eat using plastic silverware half the time.

Other than that, yes, I remember Franklin, and your grandmother is... insane, but you knew that... just... that's really worrying. Get out of there! Please!


Super Duck's picture

Really?! YES! Someone else

Really?! YES! Someone else does it too! Hahaha. Yes, I am a huge fan of plastic silverware.

Yeah, my grandma is pretty scary right now. I saw my grandpa today, and he is not mad because apparently she has done the same thing to him in the past, but I still haven't seen her... I'm scared of her so much.