Thoughts

Super Duck's picture

I love that one Victoria's Secret commercial where sexy chicks in their underwear are all like, "Tell me you want me~!" and "Excite me~!" UHH, OKAY, GLADLY! :D Seriously, this commercial is great. It is almost as great as that one commercial from the summer about an energy drink or something similar? With the SEXY blonde chick having a staring contest while wearing a bikini? Yeahhh, that was a nice commercial... I remember I even bought like 4 of those energy drink/flavored water/whatever things because of the commercial! They were alright.

Anyway, you guys know that one song that never, ever gets old, right? The one you could just listen to forever and ever? What's that song for you guys? Mine's the song in the video on my profile... Here's a link to the full song, though I MUCH prefer the video on my page. (Seriously, guys, I am absolutely in love with that video.)

Anyway, yeah, I hate everything this week. Well, uh, obviously not everything, but almost everything. On Saturday, I must get up at the asscrack of dawn and go take the ACT for the first time. It gets worse: I have to go take it all by myself without any of my friends because the testing location most people from my school go to was full... Honestly, I am more terrified of that than the actual test. I'm still scared as hell over the test, though. You know how everything is scored on a scale of 1 to 36? Someone in my family (it may have been an aunt, now that I think about it, but I am 95% sure it was my mother) took the test way back when and made an 8 on the math section. Yes, an 8 as in a massive failure.

Most of my friends who make similar grades as me in school and have taken this test before have scored between in the mid-to-upper 20s, so that's what they say I should expect, but I'm still scared... I just hate high school so much. I just want to be done with all this bullshit already.

I find myself very easily frustrated lately. My grandma and I argue every single time we see each other, because she is just so damned passive aggressive. I have a hard time falling asleep sometimes, like on Sunday night. I only got 4 hours of sleep then.

I get frustrated with school every day. Just seeing the building fills me with anger, to be honest. Monday morning, I had to go to talk to the secretary lady to get a dismissal slip for my doctor's appointment, and she was such a huge bitch. She nearly made me late to homeroom because she would not stop talking to her friend, and then she bitched at me for "needing to see a note" and then I tried to show her my appointment note from the doctor's office, but she was an ass about it and refused to see it. She just bitched and bitched and bitched, and that is the last thing anyone wants to hear on a Monday morning when they are about to be late. I pretty much can't stand everyone at my school who is not my friend or my English teacher. I was even a little mad at my English teacher one day last week, but it wasn't really her fault. It was more bullshit unwritten rules made by the administration... Apparently, juniors and seniors are no longer allowed to make up quizzes they missed. My school is too busy shitting their panties over the dress code to post these rules anywhere, or at least tell us. Fuck 'em.

And, uh, sometimes... Sometimes I get really, really frustrated with being a lesbian. I mean, I would never change it even if I could, but it's frustrating because it is lonely here. Little elementary kids are getting boyfriends and girlfriends, and here I am at 17 years old and have never even been on a date. I mean, I know that I still have LOTS of time left to find a girlfriend. After all, I am 17, not 71. But it is totally a huge blow to your ego when a 10-year-old has had more experience with girls than you have.

I do have a feeling that even after I move away from this crapfest of a town, it will still be stupidly hard to find a girlfriend. You know, this sounds really silly, but I've always needed to write it down. When I was younger, like 14-15, I used to think... Oh god this is so dumb... I used to think that because all the girls I liked ended up being straight, gay/bi girls just did not come in the type I like. Or something like that. I cannot really remember my logic for this.

Of course, I am now aware that this is not the case. I mean, come on, the most attractive and perfect woman in the world likes the ladies, for example. But I do still think meeting girls will be super hard. I mean, I don't want a completely and totally stupid girl like Old Crush was, for example, or someone I can't enjoy being around, but I also don't want someone I am not attracted to... I don't think that's unrealistic.

FCG was fun and cute and not really stupid. I try not to think about her anymore, but it doesn't always work. I still get upset over her occasionally. I wish she was still here... or that I could get a do-over, because I totally fucked up the past 4 months or so. I shouldn't have just totally stopped trying to talk to her just because no one is ever able to contact her. It's too late now, though. It's been too long. Maybe she'll come back to town for a visit over winter break and I'll run into her at, like, Walmart or something. Maybe?

Wait, actually, I think I'm just frustrated with being a 17-year-old girl. Yeah, I think that just about covers all of it!

Comments

Splash's picture

strangely...

...the commercial didn't do much for me.

I'm 21 and just had my first relationship this year. I'm not sure if you'll find that encouraging or not, but rest assured, it's bound to happen eventually. (I fail to see how someone could NOT love an awesome Super Duck, honestly.) I do get really frustrated by the sheer statistics of it sometimes, though. After all, 90% of girls are ruled out before I can even wonder if they might like me.

Wanting to date someone you're genuinely into is a very good personal standard, in my opinion. Stick to it. It took me a long time to find someone, but once I did I fell in love HARD and it was awesome. (Of course, I got an equally intense heartbreak when the relationship ended, but that's another story. I'll take both over neither, most days.) I have a feeling I'm starting to sound like a downer, but I'm a romantic at heart. Hang in there, is all I'm saying.

I never took the ACT. I took the SAT. But a standardized test is a standardized test. For me it wasn't that bad... just long and a bit headache-inducing.

Also, high school is stupid. I don't know if it's teenage hormones or being shut in a one-building universe all day or what, but I remember feeling that most of my classmates were pretty shallow. College is better. College is much, much better. Trust me.

*hugs*

~~~ the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses ~ e e cummings ~~~

Super Duck's picture

That is exactly how I feel

That is exactly how I feel about the statistics! :( And I guess that makes me feel slightly better. I mean, 21 is not that much older than me. That is only 4 years away. But yeah, the statistics suck soooo badly.

Yeah, I'm mostly dreading having to sit still for that long for the test... Ughhh.

I really hope it's better! Just one more year and a half, and then I'm done with stupid high school...

socialist's picture

I know how you feel.

I really want a boyfriend, but it is not easy talking to Brad unless I have an excuse. I'm too shy. I am glad that I get plenty of excuses nearly every day. :D

Super Duck's picture

I'm really shy too... It

I'm really shy too... It sucks, doesn't it? :(

socialist's picture

I know.

I hate just looking at Brad and waiting for him to talk to me when he never does. Maybe he is as shy as me, or maybe he's straight. :(

AtotheJ's picture

hehe

A sexy advert came on TV this morning Jenna was staring that it and Rainbow knowing that i hate it when i see her look at girls so she was watching its reflection on her spoin

Super Duck's picture

Hahaha, that sounds like me

Hahaha, that sounds like me watching TV with any of my family members until about last year. Now I don't care who sees me drooling over hot girls :P

AtotheJ's picture

hehe i had to watch adverts

hehe i had to watch adverts like that secretly too when i was younger, my brother jack used to stare at them so we thought he wasn't gay now every time a David Beckham or some other guys ad comes on he puts a pillow of his lap we used to mess with since he zones out and we used to draw a mustache on his face it was so much fun

elph's picture

Language problem :(

spoin = ?

jacjessen90's picture

possibly...

"spoon?" or something simaler?
~"to live a day alone, only THAT would be torture! An hour without you, only THAT would be death!" ~gomez and morticia addams
~"look at him! i would kill for him! i would die for him! either way what bliss!"~gomez addams

Super Duck's picture

I figured "spoon" since the

I figured "spoon" since the i and o are right next to each other on the keyboard.

cheese's picture

I hate being a 17 year old

I hate being a 17 year old girl too.

:I

"So can you tell me what's left when everything you care for carries on, when broken dreams are built to make you strong. When the memories of yesterday fall through these broken dreams are built to help you through." ~Authority Zero

Super Duck's picture

Ugh yes, it sucks! :(

Ugh yes, it sucks! :(