Last night was, oh my God...
I felt like I was going motherfucking insane.
So, well, after a buncha shit happened, me and my family went to Leavenworth yesterday, a little mountain tourist village near us that has the best Christmas gifts, and while driving back I realized I was feeling sick. I was kinda pissed off.
Because, frankly, I would much rather go to school than stay home.
I know a lot of people I know complain about how shitty and soul-crushing high school is, and it is, but I like most of my teachers, and I can ignore most of the stupid people, and it isn't that bad, and at least it's better than hanging around at home all the time, it's so boring here...
And missing school is a hassle, there's shit I have to make up, and it means just more work later.
But, for some reason, this flu thing has passed with like lightning speed.
Like, originally I started getting a bit of a sore throat and a bit lightheaded yesterday at about 5.
Then, by 10, after we got home, I was having a high fever, chills, and feeling general shite.
And then, last night, oh God, it was awful.
I can't even really explain it, you know? Well, because I'm pretty sure I never really slept, but then I'm also pretty sure I wasn't totally conscious the whole night.
After laying down a shitload of blankets to stay warm from all the fucking chills, I tried to sleep, but then, I seemed to have a kind of waking dream.
Like, I seemed to think that somehow, I was in a war, I was a general.
I'm not totally certain, but I think I was also a woman, in Spain.
A woman general fighting a war in Spain. The whole night.
But I wasn't positive exactly who I was fighting or how I was to go about beating them, about the only thing I was totally positive of was that however shitty this was, fighting this war was totally necessary, I was doing a great thing.
And it seems like I could have been sleeping, but I was shifting positions all the time, and seemed to be aware of my surroundings, and I was totally aware of the passage of time, my God, how long the hours are!
And periodically I'd have to get up to puke, but it seemed like no matter how nauseous I was, my body didn't really want to puke, so I'd just dryheave but I couldn't get myself to stop feeling so nauseous, until I'd finally get something up. God, that was the worst.
And then it'd be right back to my war.
And I was so pissed in the morning when the chills went away, and then I realized that the whole enterprise had actually been fucking USELESS, that it was never necessary, that the whole "war" had happened in my head.
I hate the feeling when I keep rehashing something in my mind, and I feel like I'm trapped in my head, just like that war, and as I do with some other things, just not quite that bad...
During the night I realized that there was no way I was going to be able to go to school the next day, I had no sleep.
So I've just kinda sat around the whole day, listening to pink floyd, reading The Shining, watching Futurama.
Ugh, horrible night. But I've been what seems pretty rapidly getting better all day, in that the chills went away during the night, the nausea went away in the morning, the fever's gone down, I still have a headache and sore throat, but those too seem to be getting better.
Well, that's good, as long as I don't have some kinda relapse tonight, I should be just fine and dandy for school tomorrow.
I hope so :P