lonewolf678's picture

So yeah my friend whom I've not seen in a few weeks did come over yester day. It was pretty cool, I asked him to stay over and he agreed. I thought it was really cool of him not being freaked out by a gay guy asking him to stay the night. We did some tennis in the day and reviewed a classic prank call tape.

Then we played some N64 for the rest of the evening and night, it was cool. This morning he didn't wake up right away so my Mother and I went to my shot appointment and returned and had breakfast (friend included at the table). We then went to walk around and go on a market street and look for entertaining things to do.

So the sky decided to open-up and pour rain on us (seemingly out of nowhere). So we ended up wasting an hour doing that. We then decided to hang out and try to contribute to my new come-back album/demo. I remember my old folk songs I used to do, now I can do that and new heavy experimental garbage. :-D

Today was nice, fast forward to 16:00 we dropped off my friend at his home and my Mother and I went to pay a bill at a store and she wanted to buy something since there was no way Amazon's Kindle Fire could arrive before the 25th so she bought me some new cologne. It's very nice, it almost makes my little (but expensive :-|) perfume imported from Western Asia seem insignificant.

Shipping and handling is a biatch. But my mother told me that it was indeed the thought that counted when getting a gift for someone. I suppose she did think the Kindle Fire as a good enough gift since I passed all my classes for the Fall semester. So I suppose everything works out there for now.

I would love it if my Father joined us for Christmas, but he's too busy with sexual pursuits involving street urchins. I thought about an intervention but he's already so messed-up. I want to tell him how I feel about him but I don't know how. I just want to release all my anger at him just so he can see what he's doing to the people who love him.

I don't know if anyone here might have had something like this happen, but excuse me if I'm being too dramatic. It's just so hard to see someone abuse themselves. I wish he would take better care of himself. There were a lot of times in his life when he should've died, he must have some kind of purpose that hasn't been fulfillied yet.

Usually one dies once they've done what needed to be done. But I'm not too sure. I don't know what to feel about him sometimes, he's not the dad I remember (even though he never was around too much).

Sorry to end on the sad ending of the journal. It feels better to vent it out though.


Lehcure's picture

I'm glad to know you and

I'm glad to know you and your friend were able to spend time together. It sounds like you've had a nice two days. As for your dad, you're not being too dramatic~ you love him, and he's being selfish. This makes me angry, too. My dad was an addict. He has literally ruined everything he had. I'm only bringing this up to let you know there is at least one person who slightly relates. As for advice, I'm at a loss. It's tough watching it happen and not being able to do a thing about it. I've tried talking to my dad about his problems, but they're so good at excuses. They're so good at making youfeel like you're the bad guy for not loaningthem money to get their fix. It feels impossible to talk to them about it. What did I do? After many tears and arguments, hoplessness won. I now do nothing. I have many good things going for me, and trying to fix his problem was making me depressed. Call me selfish, but I gave up on making it my mission. If I were in his shoes, I wouldn't want people to give up on me, but they have to want to change themselves Though, I deeply hope your dad steps up. I do, sincerely. It is good to vent. Maybe try writing a letter, even if you don't give it to him, it's good to get the anger off your chest.

lonewolf678's picture


Maybe I should write a closed letter for him sometime, it would do me well. I'm sorry to hear about your father, I hope someday he can see what he's done to himself and those around him.