Harro :D

radiosilence95's picture

Sorry I haven't been online lately. My laptop had a massive virus and some nice guy that works with my mom fixed it for me. So this Toshiba isn't a total piece of crap. I'll try to comment on people's journals, but it seems I haven't missed too much.

Today was my first day back at school, and it felt wonderful to be back. My best friend and I are speaking again, but she seemed adamant to not acknowledge what was said between us over break. And she now has four guys in her sight as of right now: one of her numerous exes, a 24-year-old, one of her crushes who is very close friends with Brittany, and the guy she ditched me for over break. This has been such a huge turn-off for me. I used to be SO attracted to her, but now I feel nothing towards her. In fact I'm kinda starting to get annoyed with her. It's so weird how just six months ago I was pouring my heart into our relationship, crying over her and being all whiny. I hate looking back on those times.

But oh well.

Brittany seemed happy to see me after such a long vacation. I think she was being genuine too, but it's hard to tell sometimes if she's genuinely happy around someone or if she's just being nice because she's such a sweetheart. I think she really likes me. Not romantically, of course. I just wish I could give her more to go on, y'know? She still doesn't know me enough. She WILL NOT get away. I can't let her get away. I WILL text her, and I WILL get closer to her. That most likely would mean a friendship and nothing more, and I'm PERFECTLY fine with that. Anything. I'll take anything. But damn, it felt so good to see her after all this time. I was going through major Brittany withdrawal.

Not much to report. I really really miss having P.E with Brittany, but Health will be the easiest freakin' A ever. Our teacher is one of the most laid back teachers I've ever met. Of course there are a TON of the bitchy preppy girls and dumbass douchebag jocks, but at least I have two good friends with me.

Is it weird that I have the smallest of crushes on my AP English teacher, even though she is in her 50's? I'm not saying I would ever do anything physical with her. God no. But I think she's very attractive for her age, and she's such an amazing teacher. She absolutely loved my essay about orientation. I got a 97 on it, and she NEVER gives students that good a grade, because she's just so picky. Another one of my essays got a 100. I am a teacher's pet. I live for English.

So my AP Psych teacher read my essay that in one part went into detail about my sexuality. I don't think he really cared, as long as I completed the assignment. I wasn't too stressed about it anyway, which makes me quite pleased with myself.

I got an A on my Chemistry final, but only because she gave us all a shit ton of extra credit. Otherwise I woulda gotten a B. I fucking hate Chemistry. As for my other classes I have no idea.


RainbowTime's picture

i know how you feel

when i was in school a teacher read out my essay about orientation but he was a nice bloke and worked around the me parts of it

i went through Major AJ withdrawal when she had to go on a holiday too didn't help that i have a high sex drive either

i only drink irn bru and the occassional blood of my enemies

radiosilence95's picture

Yeah. My AP Psych teacher

Yeah. My AP Psych teacher didn't really change in behavior or attitude towards me. So that's a huge relief. Not that he paid much attention to me to begin with, because I'm so damn quiet in his class :P

HELEN-_-'s picture

haha but u did miss

haha but u did miss something.. me becoming a member :) so pumped!!
-Helen was here :P love u :)
love is my only drug <3

radiosilence95's picture

Ah yes. I've noticed you on

Ah yes. I've noticed you on here. Welcome to this wonderful site. Make yourself comfortable :)

socialist's picture

I have AP English, too.

I have an F in that class. :(

radiosilence95's picture

Really? AP English is an

Really? AP English is an easy A for me, but only because I'm so passionate about writing. But I've heard rumors that AP English in this state is a lot easier and not as challenging as it is in other states. That wouldn't surprise me. Illinois is full of idiots.

SometimesY's picture

AP English in NY was a

AP English in NY was a bitch. I mean, I loved every second of it, but it was challenging. There's no way I would have passed the AP exam without my teacher. She was all the right kinds of picky. It sucked though, because for some reason, the college board didn't send out my school's scores. We had to call this number and then PAY for our scores. As if we didn't already pay enough to take the test haha. I ended up just waiting to see if my college would give me credit for it since they only accept fives from English majors. Luckily I did well!

Lehcure's picture

Congrats on your essays and

Congrats on your essays and chemistry final! Yeah, when I was in high school, Missouri AP English was fairly challenging but easy to get an A in, if that makes sense.. maybe it's a midwest thing. Anyway, I'm sure she was genuinely thrilled to see you after such a long break. In fact, I bet she was wishing she had your number over break so she could chat with you:P

radiosilence95's picture

Midwestern education

Midwestern education is...weird, I will admit that.

I'm really regretting not texting her over break. Still having a mental battle with myself over when the right time is to text her. We seem to have hitten a wall recently. We're not having long conversations, we're stuck in the same rut. This is the most frustrating thing in the whole freakin' world I can't even.

Lehcure's picture

I understand, but you'll get

I understand, but you'll get over the wall..just gotta get back in the swing of things. Eh, I wouldn't regret not texting her over break mainly because silence leaves room for wandering thoughts. However, you might try texting her in class now that break's over. Something silly like"..wanna skip fifth period? ;)" or "Are you going to the game?" I dunno how kids do it these days, but back in the day we used to write handwritten notes..some girls love them. But then again, that would be more to worry about. Hmm, I'm confident you'll find a good solution. Think about the advice you would give someone in your same situation, and try that?

radiosilence95's picture

And therein lies another

And therein lies another dilemma. You see, if a friend who was in the same situation as I am asked me for advice, I would tell them to shut the hell up, take a deep breath, and text the girl already XD

Lehcure's picture

"take a deep breath, and

"take a deep breath, and text the girl already"

lonewolf678's picture


Microsoft Security Essentials. It's free and effective!

radiosilence95's picture

I think the guy installed

I think the guy installed AVG or something. That's also free, and since I'm not very tech savvy, I'm assuming they're all equally effective, for the most part.

RainbowTime's picture

for the most part

but its better to have 2

i only drink irn bru and the occassional blood of my enemies

lonewolf678's picture


A very good point to have at least two! Oh, and a firewall couldn't hurt either. :-)