hmm

RainbowTime's picture

well, i was cornered by dads girlfriend in Tesco she is a bitch but she started out more curious than bitchy i thought she was being nice.

since my dad doesn't know much about me so ergo he couldn't tell her much, she started asking me questions about me some i thought i wouldn't her again like "are you a Female to Male Transvestite" which i have been confused for alot but everybody knows im not now but shes the type of person who picks something off about how you look and ask about and she says "you have a weird eye colour" this was a statement out of no where she just randomly stated it oh and my eyes are Amber (apparently its rare or something)..... OK.

then came the bitchiness she believes all Gay's & Lesbian's are Bi , annoying enough but she still believes that i would be happier wearing a dress the most masculine women you would ever meet was told she would be happier in a dress, i fight people like this, that is annoying as hell shes even started to complain about the way i raised Jenna. i will kill that son of a bitch one day.

ive been raising Jenna for 9 years now, i was 9 when i started i raised her dam fine, and she how can't even remember my name claims that i did a bad job raising her, bitch.

then calls me a pervert because i have a few fetishes. everybody has fetishes god sake, what the hell is wrong with her.

and called me a Nazi because apparently "im a attracted to the Ayrian race" what? because AJ's Blonde with Blue Eyes, heres something for her *ahem* FUCK OFF YA PIECE OF ENGLISH SHIT!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i have also came to a conclusion that we British have a MUCH darker sense of humor than the Americans & Irish seriously every single American i know about 7 or 8 and the 5 Irish i know hate our sense of humor because we laugh at terrorism & Death.

i was called a twat in Ireland because one of there newspapers said "Cork Man Drowns" this makes me laugh still, every one of the Irish people where disappointed and thought we were being "ignorant twaty bitches" then proceed to insult the Scottish version of the English language how idiotic if your going to insult our way of speaking don't use Scottish swears.

seriously Bitch, Bastard, Cunt, Twat, Fuck, Shit & Shite are all Scottish Swears so if your going to insult us make your own swears.

Comments

anarchist's picture

My eyes are rarer.

I have heterochromia and everybody I meet points it out (like I don't know that I have it). Sometimes it takes them months, sometimes minutes, but they all point it out unless I tell them first. (Actually, they sometimes point it out after I tell them.)
My mother only thinks lesbians are bisexual. She thinks gays are against nature, but somehow lesbians aren't. I hate double standards. Oh, and she contradicts herself because she's also said that bisexual men are gay, but bisexual women aren't lesbian. I fucking hate her.

elph's picture

How can you hate...

...your mother? Surely a bit hyperbolic... huh?

Has she never said she loved you?

anarchist's picture

Of course it's hyperbolic,

but you shouldn't believe people can't hate their mother. Some people have horrible mothers.

RainbowTime's picture

i hate my mother!

she used to slap us across the face & throw beer bottles at us she said she only had us for tax breaks!

i only drink irn bru and the occassional blood of my enemies

lonewolf678's picture

Well,

be that as it may laughing about death and destruction is one of the many coping mechanisms people will employ to avoid the true feelings. At least that's my theory.

anarchist's picture

Nope.

I laugh at horrible things for no reason. I don't know why I find the next line hilarious.
What is the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't have sex with a sandwich before I eat it.

RainbowTime's picture

XD

that made me laugh you would be the only guy who isn't a Scot to make me laugh with a dark joke

i only drink irn bru and the occassional blood of my enemies

anarchist's picture

You're wrong there.

All of my friends love dark humor. I actually got that joke from a friend.

RainbowTime's picture

not really

i can't be wrong as only one other american tried to make me laugh with a dark joke he said "did you here about the kid?, he was playing with matches & hung himself" that wasn't funny or dark

come on if its followed up by my (masculine gay) mate saying "inspired by queer eye for the straight guy, i should get a gay guy to give me fashion tips but they wouldn't they'd fuck me" which is not funny but funnier thats bad

i only drink irn bru and the occassional blood of my enemies

Mogul's picture

I think that british people

I think that british people has frat sense of humor, just like Colombians: we laugh about death, disasters, stupid people, our selfs, hunger, and many other things
This is one that my friends tell in Christmas:
Q: Why Santa didn't came to Somalia last year?
.
.
.
A: because last year they ate a reindeer!

Or: (kids in Hatí playing hide and seek after the earthquake)
1.2.3 for Jaimito that is under the house!

And I think that the gf of your dad is a total BITCH!! Why does she criticts everything! And just because you like a blonde, blue eyed girl it don't mean that you are nazi! I find atractive blue eyed, blond hair boys and I'm not nazi!

RainbowTime's picture

i love dark humor

tell a dark terrorist joke to Scot Laugh there ass off
tell same joke to English They ask whats wrong with you
i like
"is it bird? is it a plane? whatever it is its heading for the world trade centre"

i agree shes a bitch

i only drink irn bru and the occassional blood of my enemies

Mogul's picture

That joke made my day! :D

-

RainbowTime's picture

Great!

i only drink irn bru and the occassional blood of my enemies

anarchist's picture

This is the best dark humor there is:

And yes, I have posted it here before.

RainbowTime's picture

watch some frankie boyle

i only drink irn bru and the occassional blood of my enemies

anarchist's picture

I just did.

I don't understand it. I prefer Dendrophilian because he isn't a traditional comedian and he doesn't make jokes about celebrities I've never heard of.

RainbowTime's picture

fair enough

was it the politic stuff?

i only drink irn bru and the occassional blood of my enemies