Emotional and poorly structured, I apologize in advance.
Every guy who could have had something with me, and didn't, ends up regretting it. Every guy who has had something with me also ends up regretting it.
I think I just build people up to expectations about me, and once they find out I'm merely human, despite the way I see things and act, they're disappointed.
My life isn't an episode of Skins, my insecurity is not romantic, I don't live in a photograph, sometimes my walls come down, sometimes my art sucks. I'm not an idea, I'm not a revolution, I'm not just a body, I'm not just a soul - I'm a human being. I'm not an easy person, and if I can't even change myself, don't come expecting me to change your life.
And normally I don't care about this because most men don't matter to me and they just pass through my life, but there is one boy that I wish didn't regret being with me and knowing who I am.
I wish that someone who shared a whole year of their life with me wouldn't just run out because shit got hard, and because I said what was on my mind, and it wasn't pretty.
I wish that when I said "I need someone to be here for me tonight and I don't give a shit about afterwards" you wouldn't have thrown 40$ at me and told me to call a cab while I'm crying my eyes out and I've just told you things I had never told anyone.
This whole charade just made me feel worse, because, once again, all I can ever represent to someone is a concept, an idea.