My Career Aspirations

Super Duck's picture

Today, a guy in my psychology class said that he wants to someday become the next Hugh Hefner. This sounds like the most beautiful job EVER. I mean, what does Hugh Hefner do except hook up with hot chicks all day, right? Of course I want a job like his!

So... Here's my plan.

Now, I realize that I will probably not be able to acquire Playboy, so I must start my own magazine. My magazine will be filled with nothing but hot chicks, as you may expect. The magazine would be so sexy that it would become the #1 best-selling magazine in the world, because everyone ever would buy it. You know, unless they didn't like hot girls. (How strange! :P)

Eventually my magazine will be so awesome that I will be able to start a club with hot chicks as the waitresses. I will also make a TV show based upon the club, and my favorite person ever Amber Heard will play the main girl, but for copyright reasons it would have to be totally different than the show The Playboy Club was. (I would also get the girl who played the closeted lesbian Playboy Bunny on the Playboy Club show! Even though the show didn't last long, I felt an intense connection with this character. Plus, she was mega adorable!)

However, my show would last more than three episodes. I loved The Playboy Club, but I think I know why it didn't last. Although it was a very pretty-looking show, and it was set in the early 60s, and Amber Heard was in it, it had one fatal flaw: Amber Heard did not make out with the cute lesbian Playboy Bunny. If that had happened, I guarantee you that the ratings would have skyrocketed, and I would be watching that glorious show right now instead of typing this, because no one in their right mind would cancel two gorgeous ladies in 60s Playboy Bunny costumes making out.

Although my show would not be able to look the same as The Playboy Club, and it wouldn't be set in that cool time period, it would fix that one flaw... in spades. GRATUITOUS LESBIAN MAKE-OUT SCENES IN EVERY EPISODE, FUCK YEAH!

Between my magazine, show, and club, I would finally make tons of money. With my money and power, I would acquire no less than 7 porn star-level hot girlfriends... at the same time! (Bear in mind that I would also be dating both of the aforementioned attractive actresses from the show.) I would also hire a live-in sushi chef, and I would buy the company that makes Oreos and make them change them to Super Duck-Os and print my happy face icon on every cookie. All the hot girls would love me. ALL OF THEM. And then, at long last, I would finally be awesome.

So, yeah. Those are my plans that will never come to fruition. But a girl can dream, yes?


Lehcure's picture

This is the most hilarious

This is the most hilarious thing I've read in a while. Don't give up your entrepreneurial dreams!

Super Duck's picture

Hahaha I most definitely

Hahaha I most definitely won't! It will be the greatest thing this planet has ever seen!