queer bits of my life lately

thoughtgoddess's picture

So my rant of the week! Why is everything pretty so low cut? I'm trying to pick out my outfit for Queer Winter Formal this weekend. I've pretty much got to wear my binder both for personal and mental comfort and because, well, there was an incident this Wednesday that may have involved me falling off the train platform onto the tracks, and bruising the fuck out of my side muscles and possibly a tiny bit of my ribs, though i've had conflicting comments from doctors on that, and I tried even wearing a sports bra yesterday for a few minutes and it hurts like a bitch because of the way it digs in, idk.

Either way, if I'm to have any hope of dancing and having fun, I'll be binding. And taking a lot of painkillers. But now I have to find a shirt that doesn't show my binder in front. Or a shirt that works with a scarf that'll hide it. I've got a few high-necked dresses, but they're all late sixties/early seventies vintage and not exactly.... wintery, or formal. And it also has to be somethign that has a place where I can pin my volunteer button throughout the night.

As for other things? i'm heading up a conference at the end of April to network and educate all the queer agencies in the province, which I am super super excited about. And even more excited now that we've realized that a grant we got for National Victums of Crime Awareness Week can be put towards the conference.

I also went to the on-campus queer group on tuesday which was pretty anti-climactic and cliquey, but in the pub afterwards I actualy explained and came out as genderqueer to my ex girlfriend (we dated for like three months five years ago), and actually talked out loud for the first time about the more practical issues of it, and how sometimes the concept of the "butch lesbian" makes my life difficult in regards to perceptions, as someone who doesn't id as a woman or masculine, but moreso as a guy and feminine/androgynous. It was a good discussion. And then I had a far more brief discussion about it with my flatmate yesterday, because he wanted to know what genderqueer meant, but I was half asleep and he was eager to dismiss it as "too complicated/just a ting hipsters do/just a thing lesbians do" and I just didn't have the bravery/energy to have a real conversation about it with him. But he tends to hold on to topics, so I'm hoping the next time he brings it up I'll be better prepared.

...Aaand people are going on successful dates and I am feeling my lack of a significant other rather intensely. /grmubles.